Monday, Lagos, Money (MLM)

The post below is written by a dear friend and runaway-blogger-to-be of mine. I had a good laugh reading it. This is her baptism into writing (hehehe). Enjoy.

As a kid growing up in a much saner Lagos then, (please don't ask when so you won't guess my age 😉), I was usually amused when I heard that great legend's song,

"Ojo Monday Eko o ni gbagba ku gba o." - Fela

Meaning on Mondays, Lagos city takes no shit (excuse my French) from anybody. It is presumed serious business starts on Monday. Some even believe whatever you start the week with ends your week. 

I used to know of one middle aged woman still in my younger days, who operated a buka in our hood back then. We were told she doesn't sell to the female gender on  Monday mornings if this customer is her first for the day. If she did sell, she will ask the female customer to give the money to a man, boy or even an infant as long as he had a 'third leg', to give to her instead. She believed if she sold to a female first thing on Monday mornings then business will be dull throughout the week. Curiosity got the better of me and I did try her out one day to ascertain the veracity of this claim. So came one early morning, plate in hand, mummy out of sight, I dashed down the road to buy rice and beans that I did not need. The mischievous child that I was (hehehe). I was lucky. I was her first customer. She said so herself. I was beyond stunned when she told me to call a young man nearby to take the money from me to give her instead. O.O 

Needless to say I got the beating of my life when I got home. What we call way back in life, "maximum shishi" 😓😞

Reports also abound of how crazy traffic usually is in this part of the Niger area (yes this is how Nigeria was coined, just incase you didn't know 😊) on Monday mornings. Leaving me to wonder, do more people go to work on Mondays then play truants the rest of the week?

What exactly is the boosheet Lagos does not take on Mondays like the Abami Eda (Fela) himself sang?  What exactly is it about Monday, Lagos and Money (with money here representing a whole lot like business, traffic and myths)? What other myths have you heard or do you even believe in per chance, about Lagos and Mondays. Do share 😊

Article by: Toyin Femi-Akinlade (@y_toyin)

It's Monday! Yaagaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Yup! Rise and shine, it's another Monday and the start to a brand new week.

The weekends fly ever so quickly though. I was tweeting on Saturday about having a president that would include an extra Sunday into every calendar week. Yeah yeah, I know its wishful thinking but a lazy girl can dream,no? Hehehe.

I do wish you all a splendid and productive week ahead. Please endeavor to be #AllHeartsAlways by reaching out to the very needy around you.

Thanks. Ciao.

Strength Of A Woman.

These days, we have so many mothers taking up dual roles in the family. Back in the days all the had to mostly do was take care of the children, home and man. These days take care of the children, the house, generate the bulk of the income, attend to the needs and urges of the man, work, work, work, work ,work just to make ends meet.

It feels like there's an epidemic of working wives and house husbands. Why is this so? Is it that the society has suddenly realized women make better and productive workers than men and thus are more lenient towards them? Could it be there's a generation of LazyMenAnonymous, lying around and surpassing in number, the hard working men who still believe it is their duty to cater for the family? Are there other reasons why so many women are now the breadwinners while the men are quite comfortable with the arrangement that way?

This post is not to slight any man or woman, but to gain a better insight as to why this is so. You may not have even noticed because a lot of women "protect and guard" their husbands reputations thoroughly such that to the outsider, this arrangement is unnoticeable. I however assure you that I carried out a small research and the result was rather surprising. Majority of married adult females between the ages of 30- 39, are the ones supporting the family financially. 

Now some men whose wives/partners earn more than they do, do chip in but others are just so blase about the whole thing. I am really curious to know and understand this trend.

Just For Fun :)

Most people know how cheeky and impulsive I can get sometimes, always for fun. ;)  Most of you also know how passionate I can get when it comes to fairness, kindness and justice. So, if you heard I got arrested, what would you think I got arrested for? :) #JustForFun

You be Yin, I'll be Your Yang :)

" In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang, which are often shortened to "yin-yang" or "yin yang", are concepts used to describe how apparently opposite or contrary forces are actually complementary" - Wikipedia.

In this post, I'm applying this definition to the lives of some regular couples, whose characters and preferences are different. Some couples are actually the complete opposite of themselves, in terms of interests, opinions, etc, yet they get on very well like a house on fire. Others on the other hand have similar tastes and preferences still, there's that one thing (oomph?) lacking.

I'm talking about differences such as:

 *choice of foods, e.g he likes spicy meals, she doesn't
 *she likes to dance, he can't even be bothered to shuffle his feet
 *he likes action movies like 300, she likes soaps like Grey's Anatomy
 *he's a couch potato, she's the poster girl for TGIF (hehehe)

...... and the list goes on.

I believe whatever differences couples have can always be resolved by reaching a compromise.  If you care enough about a person to desire them and be with them, then ensuring they are happy and satisfied for the majority of the time is crucial. Rather than always have it your way or the highway, try something different by having it their way for a change (well more than one change, remember compromise?) Take genuine interest in what makes your spouse happy and go for it. It might not be daily or even weekly, but at least make it frequent and be a willing participant. This will help you bond as a couple and you will be sure to also gain knowledge from the experiences.

So as the weekend begins, start thinking of ways to reach that compromise you wouldn't ordinarily conform to. A happy spouse guarantees a happier you. ;)

Automatic Sperm Extractor! O.O

 Just when you think you have seen and heard and read it all, someone comes along with a new technology to blow (pardon the pun) your mind away. I came across this and I just had to share with you guys. Hehehehe.

" A Chinese hospital in Nanjing, capital of Jiangsu Province, has introduced a new machine that makes sperm donation even easier- an automatic sperm extractor. I’m all for hands-free technology, but have scientists gone a little too far with this invention?

The effortless machine features a massage pipe that can be adjusted to suit the height of the user. All the gentleman has to do is plug in the frequency, amplitude and temperature and off they go. It’s also fitted with a small screen for those feeling uninspired.

According to the director of the urology department of the hospital, the machine is designed to help individuals that are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way. We're not entirely convinced that standing in a room shared by many other people and being milked like a cow is going to help, but their efforts are commendable." Culled

Well, there you have it. I know there will always be the perverted ones who would want to purchase it for pleasure rather than for what it was designed for, but hey, that's comes with the package of life, right?

Watch the video below and chose if you prefer natural or machine assisted. ;)

I Just Found Out I'm A Man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #TGIF

I was quietly minding my own business when I came across the picture below and it turns out undoubtedly that I'm A MAN, if you believe such fun boosheet that is. LMAOOOOOO.

The Face Of Terrorism.

I usually avoid videos of horrific occurrences because they always break me. A few minutes ago, I stumbled on a link from the bomb blast yesterday in Abuja, and it devastated me completely. A survivor of the blast recorded things as they unfolded after the blast. He was obviously an adult  Muslim and you could tell he was in shock as he kept on reciting his prayers over and over again. At some point he burst into tears when he saw the plight of those directly hit by the bomb, as he cried for help for them.

There were limbs and half bodies splattered all over the street. There were burning cars and several destroyed vehicles. There was wailing and shock and chaos everywhere. O my heart, it is a horrible thing to happen to anyone. I broke down as I watched and recalled how many of my friends narrowly escaped and the thought that those could have been their body parts all over the road kills me. The fact that those innocent people blown to smithereens are people's families and friends and loved ones, slays me.

When will the issue of terrorism be taken seriously and ended in this country? This is not the Nigeria I grew to know and love. This menace has gone on for too long and it must be stopped NOW. Seeing the pictures on print does not tell the full story of the horror of what transpires during and after a terrorist-bombing.

This video captures just a part of the horror. I am sharing it because I want people to know what it really means to be under a terrorist attack. I am sharing this as a wake up call to everyone. Let's end this menace called terrorism.

*Viewer discretion advised*

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=912888405391408

He's got the beat. Music IS Everything

This video below goes to show the power music has living objects. In a way, it reminds of when I was pregnant with my first child, there was this one song he would jump and bob around to (inside me o). I initially thought it was a coincidence until I studied the whole act one day. I was gobsmacked. The song was Wande Coal's Ten-Ten.

Believe it or not, for the first two weeks after I had him, that was the song I played to get him to stop crying when all else failed. He would just stop crying abruptly and squirm in rhythm. Funny enough his dance rhythm now is just like that of a British lad who's had a few too many cans of Stella Artois. Lol.

Enjoy. :)

Which Way, Nigeria??????

To say my mood was dampened by the cruel terrorism events that occurred across the country yesterday, would be the understatement of the century. 

I was deflated mentally, emotionally and physically. I cannot understand why anyone would deliberately plant bombs and kill people for any reason or cause. It beggars belief. 

Sadly, yesterday there were series of bombings in Adamawa, Abuja and possibly Lagos. The casualties are numerous because the blasts occurred in very busy places. Unfortunately, most of the victims of the Abuja blast were women and children. These are innocent people going about their businesses and hustling to make ends meet. I saw a most traumatizing picture of a detached arm with parts of a chest attached to it. That was someone's child/father/loved one blasted to smithereens. :( The picture is too horrific to put up. 

Now they are nothing but fragments on the pavements. I just cannot understand all of these. 

I am appealing to the President and to all those in government to put an end to this menace that is threatening to consume us all. It is easy to stay detached from the horrific realities of those who have been affected by these terrorist acts over time, because it hasn't quite affected us directly yet, but that would be a great error on our parts. 

These bombs do not dicriminate against age, gender, religion or tribe. They have no filters when they get detonated. It is simply a case of being at that spot, for whatever reason, when they go off. No one is safe at all.

I sincerely hope the government would sit up and address this issue thoroughly once and for all. The more we sweep the issued BokoHaram under the carpet and blame the opposition party for being responsible for it, the more bodies are being piled up at our doorsteps. Strategize and implement actions in tackling this madness. Make arrests and charge people to court. Do something and end this now. 

Results Will Cancel Insults. #RandomMusings

Whose daughter must be kidnapped and snatched away before they #BringBackOurGirls ; whose son must be slaughtered before they get real and serious with terrorism? 😡

Daily people are being killed needlessly. What exactly is our government doing to protect us from terrorists? They took an oath to protect and serve the people!

When you set out to vote in the presidential election, remember the noisy silence and inaction of the government on terrorism in Nigeria.

Remember the dozens of Yobe school boys slaughtered IN their schools. Remember their anguish as they fled and tried to escape but never got the chance to.

Remember that NO ONE has yet been brought to book for THOSE gruesome murders. Remember the victims of Nyanya bombings, gone just like that.

Remember the school girls kidnapped, raped, beaten, forced to become wives, forced to convert to Islam, probably forced to use leaves* (?) as pads!

Remember their parents, their breaking hearts and dimming hopes of ever seeing their children alive. Remember their siblings' aching hearts.

Remember the families who have lost loved ones to stray bullets of drunk and unruly police, ill-equipped to handle the job thrust on them.

Remember those who have lost parents, children, siblings needlessly to avoidable road accidents due to bad roads and shit road laws.

Remember those who have been raped and demeaned because the law and society protects rapists above victims.

Remember the thousands of needless deaths due to ill-equipped hospitals whose funds have been diverted to the pockets of greedy morons!

Remember your own sleepless nights due to the noisy generators of your neighbors. Remember your car shocks shot due to terrible state of our roads.

Remember all of these when you set out to vote. Vote with sense. Vote for those you are sure would get there and do right by Nigerians.

The ball is in your court.

#AllHeartsAlways

Boys Will Be Boys..... Really? -_-

Hi everyone, all my life I've come across the words "boys will be boys" and while I always thought it was unfair that they got to have all the fun with that excuse while us girls had to act all prim and proper all the time (I was a bit of a tomboy anyway, so prim and proper wasn't me, lol.), I didn't realize until a few minutes ago how it could also mean "boys are always going to act all silly, no mater what age they get to".

Now before you get all macho on me (hehehe), that second meaning came from a comment someone made after we read the news about the drunken Louisiana chaps who found an alligator by the side of the road and decided to do the world some good by moving it off the road and clear up the traffic it could have caused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO. Those were my sort of reaction when I first read the headline and by the time I read the full story I was like:

They tried to go all Steve Irwin on the 'gator, never mind their lack of experience and inebriated states. Of cos one of then got bit and needed 80 stitches on his hand. Methinks he was really lucky he got to keep the whole hand because the 'gator could have easily snapped his arm off, kpakam!

Oh well, like he said 'Definitely fortunate, God was watching over me,'. Yinmu. If I were God, I'd have prolly slapped him across the face with the whole alligator before letting him off, hehehe. 

Hopefully, they've learned from that experience and hopefully the chap who got stuck in the sculpture of a vagina in Germany last Friday has also learnt his lesson. Sigh, boys will indeed always be boys.

And these ones ........................

                                                                         Hopefully it's Photoshopped because FLOTUS isn't to be messed with, no?


Anyway, I'm off to knock some extra sense into my boy's head. #NoTime :)

#Ciao