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Saturday, 29 August 2015

#DearBuki: Let's Talk About Sex o!

Hello dear blog readers, how has your day been? I have started a column tagged #DearBuki where you can send whatever issues weighing on your minds and I would do my best to proffer solutions to them by giving my opinion and showing other perspectives to them. I do a lot of these guidance and counselling offline so I felt the need to bring it on my blog. Do send me an email on and we will put heads together. Check out the first post here.

As they say, a problem shared, is a problem half solved.

Dear Buki, I am really loving this your new column. I miss reading your Let's Talk About Sex Series, what happened to that? See I have a slight issue related to that o. I'm five months pregnant with my first child and my husband has refused to make love to me because he is scared of giving our baby a dent! I have explained to him several times that this would not happen from what we have been taught in ante-natal classes and what I read online but e no gree hear word o. What can I do because this pregnancy has increased my libido (covers face shyly). I cannot understand again o.
Thank you.

Mama Pikin.


Dear Mama Pikin, congratulations on your pregnancy. I can totally understand your raging hormones and you shouldn't be denied your cravings in pregnancy, lol. Ok, so this is not an uncommon fear with some new fathers-to-be, but it is up to you and your midwife to allay his fears. You said you have read about how safe it is to have sex at this stage but did you show it to him? Telling him is one thing *especially when he can see the baby kicking and your tummy growing*, but letting him see it is another thing. You must know how to communicate this to him. 

I did write about sex in pregnancy in my post Let's Talk About Sex And Trimesters here, and the one about bonding with baby and still getting some which I wrote here

Why don't you forward the links to him and see how it goes. You can also get a close family friend who is a doctor/nurse/midwife to sit him down and have a talk with him. There's no point denying your spouse her conjugal rights just because she is carrying your child. The babies are cocooned in the womb and unless you are rocking a steel 15", would not get in the way of your activities at all. ;)

I am so guilty of slowing down on my Let's Talk About Sex series, largely because I found out my parents read my blog daily and I am still trynna come to terms with that, hehehehehe and also because I haven't been able to come up with a new and refreshing angle. So if anyone has a request about that, kindly send me  message/email about it. If you missed out on the previous posts, just search for 'Let's Talk About Sex' in my blog search engine and you will see all the posts. 

Mama Pikin, I do wish you a healthy sex life in pregnancy and beyond and I also wish you a smooth and safe delivery. Holla when baby arrives. :)

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