You Don't Know Panic......

Apologies for my absence here. I had a really crazy day yesterday.  I had a most busy day at work and then I got a call from my daughter's school that she was unwell. 

You don't know panic until you find yourself stuck in crazy traffic after being informed that your daughter is very ill and weak.

You don't know panic until you see how pale, weak and dehydrated your daughter is and realising that the hospital is a little distance away from where you are.

You don't know panic until you see your daughter throwing up and heaving into a bag in the back of a car with a a driver who had stopped for a red traffic light and was too scared to move because the sight at the back seat was terrifying and so was the sight of the armed fierce looking policemen looking out for traffic offenders.

You don't know panic until you get to the entrance of the hospital and get blocked off by another vehicle but rather than wait a second longer because you daughter is still throwing up in the bag, you scoop her limp body up and dash barefooted into the hospital................ temporarily forgetting your son in the cab.

You don't know panic until you get into a hospital with your daughter's limp body in your arms and you are directed into the emergency room but get there and find no one to attend to you immediately.

You don't know panic until you rush back to the reception, all the while cradling your daughter's weakening and burning hot body in your arms.

You don't know panic until you watch helplessly as the medical team do what it is they know how to do best while you stand aside and try not to cry in front of your daughter.

You don't know panic until you remember you left your son in the cab and then struggle with the decision to leave your ailing daughter in the ER while you go and search for your son.

You don't know panic until you scout faces searching for your son before finally sighting him safe with the equally worried cabbie. (Yes, #UsmanIsBae)

You don't know panic until you relieve the horror you have just been through in the eyes of the cabbie who watched you break down in tears before picking up your kids from school, rushing them to the hospital and watching your wee daughter puking her guts in the back of his cab.

You don't know panic until you whizz past your mother-in-law, who just randomly happened to be in the hospital at that same time, while rushing off to the laboratory with your daughter's blood for tests.

You don't know panic until she calls you and it takes 30 full seconds for you to recognise her because between your dash to the laboratory, your haste to get back to your daughter in the ER and your frantic search for your son and the cabbie (all over again), the world stopped existing in those seconds.

You don't know panic until you are caught between deciding whether to use a wet cloth to bring down your daughter's temperature or to cover her up because she is shivering nonstop.

You don't know panic until you realise you are feeling dizzy because it is 5.10pm and all you have had all day was a sweet or two.

You don't know panic until you realise that going home tonight is no longer an option. Admission is the only option.

You don't know panic until you discover your hospital roomie's child has been on admission for the  past ONE MONTH with the same symptoms your daughter has.

You know what though? 

You mentally talk sense into your head and gather strength rather than panic. You reach out to good friends who would stand in the gap and pray for/with you in such trying times. You let go and let God, while putting up a strong front so that your kids don't see you panicked or broken. You grin and bear whatever it is you are going through because you are a S U R V I V O R and this is after all part of the joys of motherhood.

Have a splendid weekend ahead. 

#AllHeartsAlways