A True Survivor Story (Part1)

I will be starting a series in which I will share real-life #SurvivorTales from real people across the world. The point of this is to cheer people up and help them get through whatever seemingly bleak situations they may be passing through. So if you know any such people, feel free to share and encourage them. And if you know are a True Survivor or know one, please send me your story at bukiotuyemi@gmail.com so that others will be inspired by it.

To kick this series off, I will be re-posting (unedited) a friend's #SurvivorTales. Her name is Bola C. and she resides in the USA. We've been Facebook friends for many years now. and I look forward to meeting her in the flesh because she's one of the most genuine people I've ever encountered. I hope her story inspires you as it did me.

My testimony......

..I was saving this news for when I eventually write my book but it's not looking like it's gonna happen anytime soon but I woke up this morning and my spirit kept bugging me to share because someone can benefit from hearing this.

Y'all already know that Tiwa came super early and they did an emergency c-section at 28 weeks to save her life! What I didn't share is that she saved mine too! During the c-section the doctor told me he sees a cyst on my ovary and he would go ahead and remove it since he was already in there, he cut it out and showed it to me. It was about 5 cm and I thought nothing of it.

 I was discharged 5 days later without my Tiwa, my husband took me home and just as we were settling in, my phone rang. I ignored it like I ignore 99% of my calls (bad habit), the same number called my husband's phone and he picked up (5I was kinda annoyed because I hate when folks call my husband after I send them to voicemail), it was the doctor, my husband put the call on the speaker and he said " I'm calling to inform you that that cyst we took out on Monday is cancer, we need you to see an oncologist on Monday for further test to ensure it hasn't spread anywhere else. I ran to the bathroom, I had a sudden urge to do a number 3! You would think this dude just told me I saved a 15% on my car insurance or something the way he sounded! 

 I stayed awake through the weekend and made plans for my kids future. My husband held me and said, you will not die! You will live to testify! I rolled my eyes, I was thinking you still gonna have faith in God after all he put us through? I didn't pray, I couldn't, I was soooo mad at God!!! I lost my son, I had my Tiwa in ICU, my niece had brain cancer and now I have ovarian cancer? Nope the homie Jesus was not gonna hear from me for a while........To be continued

Don't Lose Your Heritage..............

I remember back when I was living in England, I used to speak my Yoruba dialect to my son. In fact, he understood "wa" before he understood "come", whenever I called him. I still speak Yoruba to my children because it is a language I want and expect them to understand and speak. I know a lot of young parents avoid teaching their children their dialects, as they would rather have their children speak impeccable English. Well, let me break it to you that denying your children the chances of speaking in their rich, cultural dialects does not in anyway make you a cool parent or watchamacallit.

When you hear the adage "Charity begins at home", that covers teaching your children how to understand and speak your dialect as well. I spoke with a parent recently and he was of the opinion that there wasn't any need for him to be the one to teach his daughter his language as she would learn from school, whenever she starts school. Sigh

How is a child to learn his or her dialect in school rather than at home where family and friends visit and speak this same language? English is the official language in Nigeria in case you missed that memo, so all subjects are taught in English and most schools even prohibit vernacular speaking outside of the classroom certain dialects are taught as subjects. So pray tell me, where else would your child learn your dialect if you do not teach the child from home?

I remember my dad preventing us from speaking Yoruba as much as we would have loved to. As a matter of fact, up till this day I feel more comfortable discussing with my dad in  English rather than in Yoruba. We would wake up and see both our parents and go "Daddy, good morning. Mummy, ekaaro". I still do it till today. Back then, my daddy would throw big English words at me and ask me what they meant. Maybe that also helped my accurate and mostly impeccable English knowledge and perhaps that's where my love for English language stemmed from.

I am very grateful my mum kept us grounded with our dialect.I could understand Yoruba very well but I struggled with speaking it as well as others did and it affected me when I got into Secondary School. I was teased and even bullied for my "oyinbo-ness", and it was really tough for me to fit in at times. Being the determined pikin I am, I started re-learning and perfecting the Yoruba language to prove that I was as Nigerian as those who could speak the language fluently.

In conclusion, I would recommend that every parent teach their children to understand at least one Nigerian language. There's no shame in it because it will help prevent your dialect from going into extinction and it would help stop your children from being bullied when they come of age and head out for higher education.

A Warm Video For This Rainy Day

There are way too many bad and sad incidences in the news this whole week. It get very tiring and borderline depressing so I have decided to cheer you up by sharing music with you. Yup, music makes everything better and bearable for most people. This video gave me goosebumps and made me feel very warm inside. Powerful vocals and an enthusiastic reaction from the crowd =  yay for music. :)

LMAO. Humour For The Mommas.

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_____________________________________________________
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
_____________________________________________________
The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
_____________________________________________________
Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
_____________________________________________________
Dummy:
1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________
Nappies:
1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
_____________________________________________________
Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
______________________________________________________
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
_____________ ________________________________________
At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
______________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his pocket money.
______________________________________________________

Pass this on to everyone you know who has children. . . Or everyone who KNOWS someone who has had children .

(The older the mother, the funnier this is!)

Accepting Your Own Body.............................

Back when I was in university studying for my first degree, I had a friend who loathed stretchmarks on women. He'd shudder at the thought and claimed it was a total turn-off and a relationship deal breaker for him. I would try to convince him that people had scarce choices in stretchmarks appearing on their bodies or other body flaws for that matter, seeing as we were not actually asked what our specifications were to be at the point of creation.RME Then one day, during one of our protests/strike/things-we-got-to-as-students-involving-placards-and-being-teargassed-by-mopols I saw him wearing a sleeveless shirt. Lo and behold, Mr. hoity-toity had stretchmarks on his back! He didn't even know they were there, trust me I made him know. I almost laughed my head off at the irony.

Fast forward to a few years later and I was preggers with my first child, having been forewarned that pregnancy comes with tummy stretch marks I got all the recommendations I could to avert it. You see, my tummy was smooth and very flat pre-pregnancy so the thought of having it tainted with stretchmarks was a no-no for me. Forgive my seeming narcissistic manner but I went the whole nine-yards, no itching the protruding tummy, bio-oil, shea butter, etc etc.

Alas, one day (I was 38 weeks and huge and a whale, lol) I stood in front of my mirror and noticed a thin shiny silvery mark below my tummy. I stood admiring it for the few seconds it took to register in my brain that whatever it was shouldn't be there! I rushed to show my hubby and he casually said "oh, it's nothing to worry about. It's just a stretch mark"!! SAY WHAT NOW?? O_O  I freaked out! Hubby tried to console me and sweet talk me into accepting things the way they were but I was having none of it. I went to bed pretty upset and woke up to see a full road-map of stretchmarks across my tummy. Yikes!! It was as if a thousand little elves had gone roller-skating across my tummy overnight, just like that.

Sigh. It took quite a lot of counseling to get my head right into accepting it for what it was afterwards. (remember, I was very hormonal then) In the end, it was all worth it because my children bring me joy and they gladden my heart every time. I psyched myself up and saw them as "my motherhood battle scars" rather than imperfections. day by day, I'm loving me for me if you can make sense out of that, hehe and accepting my body hangups.

So when I came across this story in the news about an Instagram account, opened by two mothers, dedicated to making a difference in the world concerning the female body image especilly stretchmarks, it took me back down memory lane. Women all over the world have been using the hashtag #LoveYourLines to submit beautiful images and stories of their "tiger marks". These women cut across race, age, cultures, etc to prove that stretchmarks do not discriminate when they pop up.

I hope this post and pictures will encourage and inspire others struggling with their body imperfections to embrace them and love the bodies they are in. :)

The Pressures In Wedlock ....................

I just heard the most frightening and infuriating story I've heard in a while and it is far from fiction. I was just told by a friend about a young lady who passed on after childbirth recently. Apparently she had had three daughters for her husband but he was so keen on having a son that he went and got another wife. Determined to keep her marriage and fight for love, she somehow managed to get him to impregnate her one more time. She refused to check the sex of her baby during her pregnancy and soon after delivery when she asked and was told she had had another girl, she passed on from there. While I don't have the full details, it is assumed that the disappointment and shock killed her.

Now I'm being told that even though the poor woman is yet to be buried, her hubby has issued her family to hurry up and get on with the funeral arrangements because he needs to move on with his life with the new wife and he's also told them to keep the late woman's four daughters.

Deep breaths........................................................

I was shocked and furious when I got sent this story because of the life cut short and the seemingly bleak future of those poor children who have lost a mother and are saddled with a father who couldn't care less about their welfare. I find it mind boggling that in this day and age, men still blame women for their inability to bear male children. This clearly shows that not only is he ignorantly uniformed and unrefined, he certainly did not love his wife from the onset. In addition to this, does having a male offspring matter so much that one discards the female ones he's produced from his own loins?

This is a true story and I do not want to put up the woman's picture because she hasn't even been buried yet. :( What can you make of this situation?

#iSpy In Naija

A couple of years ago, I started a twitter hashtag #iSpyInLagos. It was basically tweets about incredulous things I spied while stuck in traffic. You wouldn't believe the craziness in this part of the world. Some were absolutely hilarious, others not so much.

It recently occurred to me that I should make posts about it and make it nationwide such that my dear readers (oh yes, you) can send their #iSpyInNaija moments to me on bukiotuyemi@gmail.com. :)

So yesterday I felt like I stepped back into a century when I went on a visit to a hospital to see a friend and at the reception area I came face to face with what seemed like a million rotting patients' folders starring back at me. I mean come on those things should have been computerized years ago. I imagined setting up a company where I would charge a N100 per file to help such backward organizations computerize their records. (Business idea and millions rolling in, anyone?;) The dust gathered on those files are farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr from hygienic in that environment or in any as a matter of fact.

Yup! That's the bell right there.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I got into her room and found a bell on a table by her bedside. I initially thought it had to do with some sort of religious doctrine or something along those lines, but my curiosity got he better of me and I asked her what the heck the bell was for. She said it was the hospital's version of a call-button to summon staff when patients needed attention!!!!!! O.O *Faints* :( :(

Secure A Teenager's Future............

LIFE AFTER SECONDARY SCHOOL is an event put together by THE M.I.A PROJECT to help teenage girls, just graduated from secondary school on how to lead better lives. If you've ever complained about a teenager's funny behaviour, this is your opportunity to help. You can be a part of this by contributing in cash or kind (refreshment, gift items and gift coupons) to help these teenagers' secure a sound and bright future. 

It's Saturday 30th August 2014. Please call Debbie on 08027386241, 08064517414 for further details towards sponsoring. Thank you. 

#AllHeartsAlways

Be The Change You Want

If you want to make a difference in life, you must learn to take charge, speak out and do your best to get that change. I know we her these things daily but very many of us do not actually go a step further to actualize it and bring about that change. There's a story some people think it's a publicity stunt, but nonetheless in the news today that  showcases the act of speaking up to criticize constructively, thinking out of the box and being unconventional in order to achieve results.

Old bottle with the old label.

A 7-year-old schoolboy, harry Deverill,  felt the design on the brown sauce bottle which Waitrose stocks was too boring so he wrote to them and attached a drawing he felt was better than what they were using. Guess what? They wrote him back and invited him over for talks and after he had reworked his initial design, the company went for it and that's the current design being used as we speak on all their brown sauce brand.

Harry's label is now on nationwide sales in the UK. Atta boy!

Taking a cue from Harry, rather than sit behind our fences or computer/phone screens and condemn, why don't we all make constructive criticisms and recommendations to the right channels in order to attain the changes we want? :)

#VACANCY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Resource Villa requires a person with a Statistics major to fill in the position of Research Specialist. They would prefer a person with not less than 6 months and not more than 2 years work experience with statistics proficiency. Someone willing to build a career in research and intelligence. Beyond the technical expertise (statistics) which weighs high on our radar, they have a culture of only recruiting people with a passion for what they would be doing and global thinkers.  

JOB DESCRIPTION

About Us

Resource Villa is an Information, Strategy and Planning Company. 

As an Information, Strategy & Planning organization, our goal is to empower growth by providing access to the right kind of information; Information that impacts strategic decision-making.

We are a cluster of big thinkers with a culture of questioning the status quo. Our drive for excellence propels us to creative and analytical thinking. Through the delivery of research-based information, we explore different dimensions to problem solving.

In an era where information is the bedrock of creativity and economic sustainability, Resource Villa’s primary purpose is to harness the power of information towards enabling new thinking.

At Resource Villa, we understand the pivotal role information plays in business success. Information and knowledge inspires a nation to greatness. We are committed to developing the future; driving the wheel of change for new and innovative thinking in Nigeria.

Job Summary

Resource Villa International Engage in the application of statistical theory and methods to collect, organize, interpret, and summarize research data to provide usable information. The research specialist role would specialize more in business statistics.

Role & Responsibility

1.     Design research projects that apply valid scientific techniques and utilize information obtained from baselines or historical data in order to structure uncompromised and efficient analysis.

2.     Adapt statistical methods in order to solve specific problems in business and marketing fields.

3.     Analyse and interprete statistical data in order to identify significant differences in relationships among source of information.

4.     Apply sampling techniques or utilize complete enumeration bases in order to determine and define groups to be surveyed.

5.     Develop and test experimental designs, sampling techniques and analytical methods before large scale deployment.

6.     Evaluate sources of information in order to determine any limitations in terms of reliability or usability

Qualification/Educational Requirement 

  *Bachelor's Degree (or equivalent) from an accredited university (or equivalent) with a strong background in business statistics.
  *Minimum of 6months work experience and a maximum of 2 years work  experience.   

        *Experience in similar job description would be an added advantage 
        *Ability to multi-task and engage multiple projects per time

        *Ability to engage in field research tasks.

        *Mandatory good level of English language knowledge

  *A valid NYSC discharge or exemption certificate will be required.

Skills Requirement

1.     Numerical Skills – The ability to add, subtract, multiply, or divide quickly and correctly.

2.     Mathematical Reasoning – The ability to choose the right mathematical methods or formulas to solve a problem

3.     Deductive Reasoning – The ability to apply general rules to specific problems to produce answers that make sense

4.     Written Expression & Writing Skills: The ability to communicate information and ideas in writing so others will understand . Communicating effectively in writing as appropriate for the needs of the audience

5.     Attention to Detail: The ability to see details at critical view

6.     Inductive Reasoning- The ability to combine pieces of information to form general rules or conclusions (includes finding a relationship among seemingly unrelated events)

7.     Information Ordering/ Logical Reasoning– The ability to arrange things or actions in a certain order or pattern according to a specific rule of set of rules e.g. patterns of numbers, letters, words, pictures, mathematical operations)

8.     Reading Comprehension– The ability to read and understand information and ideas presented in writing especially in work related documents

9.     Speed of Closure – The ability to quickly make sense of, combine and organise information into meaningful patterns

10.  Critical Thinking – Using logic and reasoning to identify the strengths and weaknesses of alternative solutions, conclusions or approaches to problems.

11.  Active Learning – Understanding the implications of new information for both current and future problem- solving and decision making.

12.  Complex Problem Solving – Identifying complex problems and reviewing related information to develop and evaluate options and implement solutions.

13.  Personal Development & Performance Evaluation– Assessing your work performance in relation to the work requirement to make improvements or take corrective action.

14.  Decision Making – Considering the relative costs and benefits of potential actions to choose the most appropriate one.

15.  Speaking / Presentation Skills– Talking to others to convey information effectively.

16.  Active Listening- Giving full attention to what other people are saying, taking time to understand the points being made, asking questions as appropriate, and not interrupting at inappropriate times

 If you are qualified for the role and interested in it, please send your cv to:

info@resourcevilla.com,  www.resourcevilla.com 

All the best.

#AllHeartsAlways