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Sunday, 30 July 2017

#DearBuki: How Can We Be Lovers If We Can't Be Friends?

Hello dear blog readers, how has your day been? I have started a column tagged #DearBuki where you can send whatever issues weighing on your minds and I would do my best to proffer solutions to them by giving my opinion and showing other perspectives to them. I do a lot of these guidance and counselling offline so I felt the need to bring it on my blog. Do send me an email on and we will put heads together. Check out the other posts here.

As they say, a problem shared, is a problem half solved................ :)


 Dear Buki, good afternoon. Please I need your advice on a situation I am in at the moment. There is a guy I have had a crush on for over a year now but he did not appear to notice me much. We attend the same university but he is a level ahead of me. I thought the feelings I have for him would pass but they remain. He does not seem to notice me besides a short greeting of "hello, how are you?" every now and then. He has a lot of female friends but I don't think he has a girlfriend.

About two weeks ago, he started following me on twitter and we have been gisting every day since then. He says he is presently single but not willing to commit to a relationship but he wants me to be intimate with him. I really like him because he is funny and really suave but I think he is not as intelligent or nice as I assumed he is. I don't know what to do about this, whether to follow my head or my heart.

What would you advise Dear Buki?

Thank you.

Bothered Debbie.


Dear Bothered Debbie,

"but not willing to commit to a relationship but he wants me to be intimate with him", that is called wanting to eat your cake and having it right back with some buns on the side. You seem really smart and I believe you know exactly what you should do. If you aren't on the same emotional page as another person, why give your heart and body to them? Unless you are willing to take a chance on lust love, I would advice you to remain friends with this fella and not get intimate with him.
Above all, you must face and focus on your studies. True love will find you and you would be glad you followed your head in the end.

All the best.

Buki O.

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