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Thursday, 4 June 2020

Who The Cap Fits







The past couple of weeks have been absolutely exhausting for me as a woman, even more so a black woman, as a citizen of Nigeria and as a human being as a whole. I have watched several videos and read several gut-wrenching stories of inhumane acts on fellow human beings especially women and they broke me. I have seen such cruel unfeeling racist attacks on blacks and the retaliations. I have read accounts of sordid rapes and the unthinking and absolutely mad defense of rapists by rape apologists that has made my blood boil as I literarily saw red in fury. I have tried not to let all the madness going on around me get to me mentally and that in itself is a day's job in one.




Bob Marley's lyrics in Who The Cap Fits keeps ringing in my head as I sadly realize that nothing has changed since the decades ago that he wrote that song. Truly, man to man is so unjust and it's hard to trust anyone these days. I look at my kids and I worry about them. I pray evil is forever far from them and while I thank God for giving me strong and sound kids who can hold their own, still I fret and worry. It does feel like the whole world has gone absolutely bonkers.



How do you deliberately jail an innocent person and go home to sleep peacefully? How do you lure a girl, lady or woman and violently rape them? Age is no barrier for these rapists as I have read of rape cases in the past week that involved females of all ages ranging between SIX MONTHS old to SEVENTY EIGHT years old!!!!!!!!!!! How does the tears of another, whether caused by you or caused by another, not move you one bit? How are you comfortable in the face of injustice, racism, pain and murder?

What has dulled the conscience of human beings and drained their milk of kindness?



I don't have all the answers to how to fix things and make the world right again. I can only do my part and if we all do our parts in our own corner of the world, perhaps, just perhaps the world can become bearable again. Do not ignore the things happening now, thinking they are far from you. the world is getting smaller and the internet has connected us all, one way or the other. Today it's them, tomorrow it could be you or your loved one. you are as complicit in your silence as are the perpetrators.


Do right by humanity.

Sunday, 24 May 2020

There's Hopeful And Then There's Archie



I had an appointment yesterday and was running late and rushing to get ready when a notification popped up on my phone. I went to Facebook to check it out and it turned out to be one of, if not the,  the most touching and inspiring videos I've ever come across.

A man walked into his session for American's Got Talent audition and blew everyone away with his story and his performance. You see, Archie Williams had been WRONGLY but DELIBERATELY imprisoned for 37 years in Louisiana, USA for a crime which he did not commit. In 1982, Archie was accused of attacking a woman and even though he insisted he was innocent with all evidences supporting his claim, he still went to prison for nearly four decades for it.

His is a painfully heartbreaking story of being a fall guy for a crime he was no where around when it happened. The fingerprints found at the scene of the crime did not match his at the time and THREE people testified that he was at home at the time of the crime but that did not matter to the judge or juror who sentenced to him to life imprisonment without parole, before he was freed in March 2019 thanks to the efforts of the Innocence Project, a non-profit organization that works to put end to wrongful convictions.

When the host of the show asked Archie how he coped with being locked up for almost 40 years, he replied saying  “I went to prison but I never let my mind go to prison.”

He further said that he would “pray and sing” during “dark times,” and would watch American Idol on television from prison, hoping that he could compete one day. How incredible it was to watch that day and dream come true for Archie as he delivered a powerful rendition of Sir Elton John and George Michael’s 'Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me', which all four judges praised glowingly.





I had goosebumps watching the entire video. His story moved me to tears as I felt all sorts of emotions course through me in  their entirety. I was so angry on his behalf for all the lost years and things he's missed out on, I was livid with the justice system, I was baffled at how God let it happen, I was sad for what he'd been through, I smiled through my tears as he performed with his whole heart and soul, I marveled at his strength and positivity which got him from 1982 to this point, I shuddered at the unspoken in-between stories he'd yet to tell and for those he can never speak about on his journey. Archie's story shredded me of all emotions and I tried to put myself in his shoes over the years but couldn't quite fathom it all. I wanted to hug him so bad and tell him it would be alright after all but his strength pushed through his performance and I felt like he knew that already.



One thing stuck out for me the most through this rollercoaster journey I embarked on for those nine minutes with Archie and the thousands of people in that hall with him. I realized that life can be cruel and unfair but it is still up to us not to give up or give in to the pressure. Never let the sun go down on you as you journey through life.

Just keep pushing through no matter what.

You will be alright, eventually.

Love......



Friday, 14 February 2020

Lovely day, Daily Love


Happy valentine's day. Before you fanatics have a fit on whether this day is for pagans or whatchamacallit, take a deep breath first.



Knowing how topsy-turvy the world has become when it comes to the amount of hate-crimes against humanity we read about everyday, I think it is just as well that we have an entire day on the calendar set aside to celebrate LOVE and LOVERS.

So please cut us some slack and allow people show and display their love for themselves.








Do have a special and beautiful valentine's day. Remember to love and show love every single day though.


Cheers.





Thursday, 13 February 2020

New Is New Whenever New!








Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooo everyone, especially all ye faithful blog visitors of mine. :) I cannot believe it has been this long since I last posted on here. Sigh. *covers eyes in shame o*


Anyway, I'm here now and I wish you all a very splendid and prosperous new year. Yes, the new year starts whenever I say it does and I say it starts again now. There's no rule that states we have to be stuck in a rut for always.











Well, here's to new and beautiful changes in each of our lives. So much has happened to/with me in the past six months but the one thing I have taken away from it all is that life is too short so I MUST live! Not merely living but living right and living well.


Cheers to 2020!


I will do better with writing and blogging this year. :D

Wednesday, 16 October 2019

Clearing The Cobwebs Off






Helloooooooooooooo!!?????????????? Anybody home???????? Yoohooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! πŸ‘»☺



*crickets chirping, cobwebs hanging* Na wa o! Someone cannot even play with you people and disappear for only ten months again? 😜😜😜

I'm kidding though but oh, how I have missed my blog, missed writing and missed reading/hearing/getting feedback from YOU, my dearest readers. Believe me when I say that I have thought about writing every single day since the last time I wrote here but I had just been unable to do so until this evening.


This year has been incredible in more ways than one, such that I do not even have the right word to aptly describe it. One thing I can say though is that it has been a helluva ride from January till date. I will be giving you the gist of it all over time and with pictures and stories for daysssssssssssss.






I remember tweeting a few days ago saying "I miss writing" and OOMF (One Of My Followers) retorted cheekily that I was "writing" even with that singular tweet! Well hey presto, how hard can dropping a line be amidst my busy schedule, right? So here I am, with so much more that those three words. 😎😎








I won't even make any promises or give y'all false hopes of hearing from me daily but I just want y'all to know that I am BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🀸🀸🀸🀸🀸🀸🀸🀸





 

Saturday, 12 January 2019

Gimme Something Light....




Hello dearest blog visitors and readers and even my e-monitoring spirits😈😜, hope y'all had a wonderful week? I had a rather busy week and I'm presently hiding in my room (I'll explain why in a bit), lying in bed and writing while I summon up the will to exercise a bit.

I made a conscious decision to be more fit and be in better form this year. I had a bit of health issue towards the end of last year which made me ignore my physical form and the results are glaring on the lying scales I've been stepping on 😬😳 and my shrunken clothes. So I woke up this morning and started with water and lime juice to get my metabolism bubbly after which I made a healthy breakfast of beans and bbq fish (it's healthy in my head and body o). Let me add that I made the kids' breakfast of pancakes, sausage and syrup and did not even taste a bit of it as I was focused on my diet


Anyways, as I sat down to eat my healthy brekkie, I heard a small fizzy voice calling out my name in such an endearing manner. It was the chilled bottle of Pepsi in my fridge calling out for me seductively, Lord have mercy! 😩 I quickly polished off my brekkie and rushed to hide in my room. It was all I could do to resist Pepsi-Delilah-Dear

I got chatting with a friend who has been motivating me on my weight-loss journey (Journey??!! oh, who am I kidding, more like weight-Loss-Fantasy-Jog) and the conversation below ensued:





LOL. Ok, that was a really sad excuse NOT to go exercising and about the worst I've ever given unless you count the one I told my diet-partner two days ago when she told me the asun (spicy goat meat) meal I was having was not fitful worthy. I simply reminded her that goats eat grass and thus my asun was a sort of salad, no? #OkBye πŸ˜ΉπŸ˜ΉπŸ™ˆ

Jokes aside though, health is wealth and we must all ensure we endeavour to keep healthy and fit this year, come what may. Surround yourself with people that will encourage you on your quest for a better body/health. And reconvert all your exercise bicycles-turned-clotheshangers back to their original statuses as exercise bicycles!!!!!!!

Do enjoy your weekend. πŸ’—


Tuesday, 8 January 2019

For The Love Of Peppered Snails




I love snails so very much that I honestly cannot describe the intense satisfaction and joy I get when I am eating well prepared, tasty, delicious peppered snails. When I resided in the UK, I remember an old friend of mine visiting and telling me that all the snails in Lagos threw a party when they learnt I had relocated. πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‚πŸŒLOL Such was and still is my love for spicy peppered snails.


A few weeks ago, a couple of friends and I were hanging out at the home of one of us when all three of us suddenly craved peppered snails. We mulled, deliberated and dragged on it for about an hour but the craving was pretty intense and eventually we started narrowing down our options of locating the best peppered snails place within our proximity. We picked a "joint" based on recommendations and description and called an Uber to take us there. Thankfully, the Uber guy grew up in that neighbourhood and knew the peppered snail place and he even highly recommend it and took us there. After a few minutes, our order was ready and packed for us to take away.



We decided to stop in a nearby supermarket and get some drinks to go with the scrumptious peppered snails whose tantalising aroma had filled up the car. As my friend and I alighted from the cab and asked the lovely cabbie to wait behind for us to quickly purchase some drinks from the supermarket, she jokingly asked me what I would do if, upon our return, I found out that the cabbie had eaten our peppered snails!!! Say what now???!!!! I very nearly turned right back around to grab my pack of precious peppered snails but we carried on into the store. She kept coming up with crazy scenarios of returning to an empty pack of peppered snails and a satisfied cabbie who could claim he was hungry and couldn't resist the aroma that had engulfed his car. And perhaps he would say he didn't have money to replace my precious snails and we would have had to work out a payment plan!! AH!!! It was hilarious and frankly scary at the same time. I wondered if anyone would truly do that.

I was traumatised and I hurriedly paid for our goods and rushed back into the parking lot. Thankfully, I didn't have to create a scene (yes, I totally would have because I do not mess around with MY peppered snails) because the lovely cabbie was chilling and waiting for us, as were my peppered snails. HeheheheπŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€





Imagine my shock this morning when I logged on to Twitter and read about the story of a food vendor who sent an order of peppered gizzard to a customer via a dispatch rider. The *&$£! dispatch rider ATE all FOUR pieces of peppered gizzard that he was meant to deliver to a client who had ordered and paid for them! I don't care what sort of problems he must have been having that day, he had absolutely no right to have done that. 


While some people are saying that the poor guy was probably hungry or broke or whatchamacallit, methinks he is just very very badly behaved. He could have found other means to satisfy his "hunger" than to jeopardise the vendor's business that way. So because he could not control his longthroat, he has now put someone's business at risk while leaving a most likely hungry and irate customer hanging. 


We cannot keep justifying bad behaviours such as this and labelling them as "poverty mentality, suffering, hungry, etc". I have watched in utter dismay and horror, grown-ups scrambling in a hostile manner at parties for souvenirs. If you don't get that umbrella, matches or gift bowl to show you attended a function, will you die? How have we become so comfortable with such mannerless behaviours while defending such with excuses such as country hard?

Let's call a spade a spade and endeavour to do better for our own good and the good of the world entirely. 

Enjoy your day.

Monday, 7 January 2019

Happy New Year, Happy New Week, Happy New Me.



Happy New Year to my dearest blog readers and new blog visitors. I know some of you are probably wondering if I am just entering 2019, but it's better late than never right? And while I was wondering that some of you would be wondering just that (lol), a radio jingle just played on radio this minute and made me feel less guilty for leaving my new year greeting to you all till now. It was a Christmas jingle (LOL) which has probably gotten continuous airplay from last December. 😜 So you see, even though procrastination is not advisable, whatever you ought to do should still be done because it would always have meaning to at least one person out there. Like Nike's slogan, Just Do It. 



Last year was a blur for me as I was swamped with work, travelling and studies all through till the end of August when I had a health scare and had to slow down big time whilst getting ample time of work to recover (Yay to my Bosses and colleagues at work. Le bestπŸ’–) I realised that life is but a whisper and we must seize every moment we have. We must live, love, laugh, go dancing, enjoy life and ensure we make meaningful impact in the lives of others. Life is indeed very short but we must not only hang on for all it's worth but ensure we get the best out of it before our lights get dimmed. 


This year however, I have a pretty good feeling that I would be writing more, travelling more and enjoying life more. I am not just saying these things but I will be putting major efforts into ensuring I get all of these done to the best of my ability. If you have any topics you want me to write on, shoot me an email at bukiotuyemi@gmail.com. I especially hope to revive writing more on my Let's Talk About Sex series and my #DearBuki series as well. πŸ˜€



Cheers to the new week (it's 6.10am in Lagos and traffic is still pretty much bearable for now. Fingers crossed for the rest of the week) and I do wish you all a splendidly prosperous day ahead. 

Buki O.




images culled from Google.

Wednesday, 12 December 2018

Different Does Not Mean Defective.



I had an Aha! moment today when a friend called me a witch. You see, I was on the phone with her and at the beginning of the conversation, I thought I heard the unmistakable whisking of eggs in a bowl. A few minutes into the conversation, I causally and randomly asked her if she was making eggs and she, in awe at my accuracy, called me a witch. (Now this person is a bestie of mine so I know she was joking, calm down first.πŸ˜€) I promptly told her that there’s a fine line between being a perceptive person or dare I day, a genius and being a witch in Africa. I asked her to cast her mind back on the thousands of people who have been beaten up badly or even killed by the mere thoughts of them being labelled witches or wizards when their only crimes were possibly their ingenuity and outspokenness. She completely agreed with me, dare I say in startled realisation and possibly awe. 


People fear what they don’t know or understand. So to shield their frail egos from shame, they, rather than learn, resort to destroy that which they cannot comprehend. I wish I could tell you why this is so but I can’t. I shudder to think of the many lives that have been lost in the past due to the ignorance and sheer cruelty and weakened egos of a few. Recall that once upon a time, having twins was forbidden in some parts of Nigeria. They took the poor babies from their mothers beats and left them to die in evil forests. Thanks to the doggedness of Scottish missionary Mary Slessor, who helped change such cruel mental thought processes thus saving twins from further death. I wonder who in their right minds conceived the thought of twins being evil and unwanted. Till date, left-handed people are targeted, chastised and even often ostracised thoroughly in certain places and amongst certain tribes. I could go on and on with similar examples. People need to know that that being different does not mean being defective.


There's a saying that what you don't know can't hurt you; while this might be true, it is definitely true that what you don't know would most likely hurt others if not you. Rather than hurt others, why not open your mind to the endless possibilities which life has to offer through others? No one has a monopoly of knowledge, no matter  how much of a genius they are. Be slow to condemn the things or people you do not understand.


The fact remains that some people will always be more perceptive than others, some would always be more talented in certain areas than most but this does not make them freaks or weirdos. It makes them unique in their one ways, so how about you keep an open mind with every thing or person you encounter and watch yourself grow in knowledge and hopefully wisdom too?


Live and let live.

Sunday, 28 October 2018

The Miracle Of A Little.....



Happy weekend to you all, especially those of you lucky enough to read this post. Yes, the fact that you are reading this post means you have light and data which is a lot more than most people have. :)


I want to share two experiences and a chance with you on being #AllHeartsAlways to the needy around you. Over the years, I have done my best to sensitise people on the need to reach out and help as many people as they can. I know a lot of you might be thinking that you have to have a lot to make an impact in the lives of another, but that is so not so. With as little as N200, you can help a hungry person feed, with as little as N1000 you can help someone buy a piece of cloth they can wear to keep them warm or covered, or perhaps even pay for their school fees with as little as N1000.  Now I know there are many scammers out there pretending to be in dire need or whatnot but the key is to just reach out, verify and help and by doing so, you do your bit for humanity.

At the beginning of the week, I noticed that one of our cleaners at my workplace came to work with her hair undone. I knew that she probably did not have the money to make the hair, seeing as it was towards the end of the month and I knew she was not that buoyant because of her present family situation. I wondered how I could be of help to her without embarrassing her and then I came up with a plan. 

I put N2000 in an envelope and wrote a short note in it, asking her to go and make her hair and look good. She was taken aback and expressed gratitude. I kept wondering if the money was going to be enough for her to do something nice but when she resumed at work the next morning, I could not believe my eyes. She had the loveliest hairdo on and she looked way better than she did the previous day. I smiled and got on with my day but about an hour later, she ambushed me in the restroom, knelt down clutching me and kept thanking and praying for me. Now, I was embarrassed and tried to pull her up to her feet. She wasn't having none of that embarrassment nor humility as she kept praying, thanking and clinging to me. I couldn't believe the impact a mere sum of N2000 had on this young lady and it moved me to tears. My point is this, every little you can give helps the needy. Nothing is too small, your trash could be their treasure so just be as #AllHeartsAlways as you can.


The second experience I wanted to share was with another young lad I came upon. He looked so forlorn that I couldn't but ask what the probelem was. He said he was hungry and hadn't eaten all day. I was gobsmacked because I had only had a coffee all day myself but I wasn't hungry because I didn't have money or a choice, I just hadn't had the time to go and get proper food. Here was a young lad hard at work but without money to eat because his meagre wages were yet to be paid. I felt his pain in my heart because he did look faint and hungry. I gave him N1000 and he was overwhelmed. I ordered him to go and get something to eat and when I saw him a few minutes afterwards, he had eaten and looked much better and bouncier.  I was pleased and satisfied. That N1000 made a HUGE difference to him.


Even though it burdens and bothers me when I see people in genuine need and I know I cannot solve everyone's problems nor meet all their needs, there's a peaceful satisfaction that settles on me when I am #AllHeartsAlways to others in need every time. It spurs me to want to do way more for others and by sharing these stories, I hope they spur you to action too.




The chance I talked about sharing earlier is about joining the 1k Miracle Group. The 1k Miracle group is a group I'm a part of, where members part with a minimum of N1000 bi-monthly and on every last Saturday of the month, volunteers in the group take the cash to Gbagada General Hospital and share them amongst the needy. The essence of the group is create a miracle for unsuspecting yet needy patients and their families. Some members donate way more than the minimum towards this cause, but the truth is that every little you do for or give to others always goes a long way.

Imagine your child lying critically ill on a hospital bed and you don't have even a tenth of the bill you've been given to treat them. You have made calls upon calls yet no one seems to be able to give or loan you the money you need to save your child. So you stand and stare and say a prayer for a miracle (in Nigeria, we are all living on miracles because the system does NOTHING for us) to save your child and then you see a small group of young men and ladies walk up to you to ask what the problem is. You tell them, they comfort you and hand over to you, a wad of a little more than the cash you need. You stare in shock, disbelief and an overwhelming relief that everything is going to be alright eventually. THAT is what the 1k Miracle Group does for complete strangers, every last Saturday of the month. The plan is to spread the miracles across to other hospitals with time and thereby reach out to more people.

The group was created last December by a wonderful friend of mine called Chile, who combines being a wife, mother, banker and an entrepreneur with this charity work. I don't know how she finds the time and energy but she is doing a great work of managing the group and coordinating the visits and disbursement of funds. One thing that sets 1k Miracle group apart is the transparency of it all via the daily updates as the funds roll in and afterwards. Since we began in December, below is the breakdown of amounts raised and expended on total stranger in dire need of money to sort their medical bills.

Dec -114k πŸ‘‰ Jan - 210k πŸ‘‰ Feb - 211k πŸ‘‰ March - 571k πŸ‘‰April - 625k πŸ‘‰πŸ‘‰ May 681k πŸ‘‰June 900k...July πŸ‘‰805k πŸ‘‰Aug 770k πŸ‘‰Sep 772k πŸ‘‰πŸ‘‰Oct 700k. With 1k donations we have blessed people with over N6.359M. 


You can be a blessing to others as well, in your one way. You can ask me to hook you up with Chile and get added to the 1K Miracle group. You can chose to feed a driver, guard or cleaner in your office this week and beyond with a little sum. You can choose to genuinely check up on your colleagues, greet them, inquire about how they are faring, give them a hug or handshake to assure them of better days ahead. You can choose to smile at a total stranger just to brighten up their day. You can chose  to burst into a random dance step to cheer someone else up. You can choose joy. What you can't do is to  look away and do nothing while the needy are left suffering and in despair around you. 

Be #AllHeartsAlways