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Contact: bukiotuyemi@gmail.com

Wednesday, 13 December 2017

Just Say It Loud.





I just read a couple of tweets where one of my followers wrote about how he intended to call his brother to wish him a happy birthday and also tell him how much he loves him and how he inspires him. When he did make the call, he just couldn’t tell him all these so he wished him a happy birthday and dropped a word of advice. 


If you know Twitter well, you’ll know they didn’t let it slide. Someone even asked him how he could share with thousands of strangers but couldn’t tell same to the person that mattered the most, his younger brother. Another tweep went ahead to call the brother and relayed the message and then some, lol. 

It got me thinking about how perhaps being embarrassed, shy, macho, egotistical or even “Nigerian” makes so many people miss out on the finer things and moments in life. Why do we shy away from our own emotions at the expense of those we truly love? Is it really so tough to tell people exactly how we feel, when we feel so or do we shy away from being rejected or laughed at?



Sometimes, the smallest gestures are what the next person needs to get through the day or even to get on in life. A little heartfelt encouragement here and a truthful declaration of how you feel about those you care about goes a long way. I asked a cleaner at work to do something today and when she came back to show me the result achieved, I was on a phone call and so I held the phone to my ear and gave her two thumbs up. Her whole face lit up and she gave me the brightest smile I’d ever seen on her face. I almost cried and I’ve been marveling at her reaction to my thumbs up gesture since then. Incredible stuff, I tell you. 


The sooner we all realize like there’s no better moment than the present because life is just too short, the better for us all. While you can, live, love, forgive, dance, appreciate all those around you and don’t leave till tomorrow, what you can do today. Pick up your phone and make that call or send that text. Open your mouth, eyes and heart and let those you love and care about know how you feel. Sometimes, it's more for them than you. Don't lose your moments. 



Be #AllHeartsAlways especially this season. 💓💖💗💗💛💜💝

Sunday, 10 December 2017

No Always Means NO!!!!!





No means NO.

It hurts me that in this day and age, we still must explain and hope people understand that when a person says NO to having sex with another, it actually means just that, NO. Sometimes, no might not even mean never but it definitely means not now. I've read and heard about how some men have gotten down to have sex with some chic they met or what not and then when she takes off her panties, they immediately decline because they feel the odour emanating from her nether regions are offensive to them. 

No means NO.


Now, imagine them being forced to have with sex with the girl in question regardless. He said no and went about his way and this is ok, so why force a girl to have sex with you after she says no? Why do you feel the need to convince someone who rejected you from the onset, even if she "didn't mean to say no"

No means NO.


Imagine also constantly seeing several adverts for a nice classy luxury car, the sort you feel you really deserve but know you cannot afford. Day in, day out, you see the advert for this vehicle flash across all your social media platforms, on TV, radio and even on billboards on your way to and from work. Then one day, you come across a showroom and there sits the car of your dreams, spinning and all shiny. You walk up to the sales person and request to see the vehicle up close and they oblige you. You walk around it, stunned at the sheer beauty and luxury of this really cool and awesome vehicle. You run your hands along the fender and marvel at the amount of technology, style and beauty that's gone into every detail of the car. You ask to sit inside it and again, they oblige you. The soft but solid leather seat welcomes and envelopes you as you sink into it's lushness. The combined smell of new leather and wood tickle all your senses and then you request to take it out for a short spin and they say NO.

What do you do then seeing as you cannot afford to buy the car and it is NOT yours to have? Would you forcefully drive the car out of the showroom or would you respectfully get your butt out of the car, keep admiring from a distance and save towards owning one?

No means NO.

It's so easy to blame girls who find themselves in a man's apartment and get raped but the truth is that NO means NO. Things could happen, plans can go awry and one might find oneself in the same house/room with someone they do not want to have sex with. You never can even begin to imagine how events can lead up to such a moment but it does happen, regardless of if they have a partner or what not. When you want to have sex with someone and they decline, leave them be. Don't let lust drive you to the point of rape. You are an adult with a brain, use it to control your urges no matter the temptation laid before you. Exercising self control just might be what stops you from destroying a person's life and getting a prison sentence for it or even worse, an STI or death..

No means NO.

Saturday, 9 December 2017

#BlogFeaturePost: A Case For Intelligence And Non-Intelligence




Hello everyone, here is a new writer on this platform called Sensi. Sensi is a budding but passionate writer. His articles and views are his own experiences and opinions and they are very interesting and enlightening. 

If you would like your written articles featured in my #BlogFeaturePost columns, kindly send them in to bukiotuyemi@gmail.com.

_______________________________________________________________________
Science has been a major proponent of intelligence being most important in the race for survival of any species. No wonder then that a monstrous premium has been put on the need for evolution of intelligence as an unquestionable yardstick for the perpetuation of filial generations to come.

Brute force and humongous physiology has all been flung out of the window and with the proverbial water, bath and even the baby discarded in this case. It is not the strongest that survive, it is the most adaptable to change. Adaptability doesn’t necessarily equate intelligence, although a case could be made for a threshold modicum of the latter for the former to even exist.


Looking at evolution and the lineage of fauna here on earth and using the Old Down Under (Australia) as a case in point, the mega-fauna started the downward spiral of disappearance/extinction in about exactly the same time as man first stepped on the shores of the land of Oddities. Size in this case, was not a criterion for excellence. The size of even the biggest of men is even incomparable to some of the least humongous of these terrestrial giants and yet, man triumphed, albeit ruthlessly and destructively. Coming over to man as an example, the question is asked – Does size arrogate intelligence? Was Goliath of Gath probably the most intelligent man ever?  I am sure the answer to this poser is unequivocal with no jot of ambivalence.

 It has been known that it is easy to tell an intelligent man but nigh on impossible to tell him much.   Self-conceit and surety of convictions is a few characteristics of such people. In the race for survival, dogma and obstreperous attitudes are usually catastrophic. The ability to morph, camouflage to reflect the surrounding environment (be it the deep jungles of the amazon in Latin America or the corporate labyrinths on Wall Street) is of great import. The ability to mirror the surrounding should of necessity be facile. The world around us is more concerned with outputs (appearances, words and facial expressions) than what lies inside. Being a make-believe world, care must be taken not to mimic and incorporate the wrong knowledge because the inner sanctum could be another ballgame entirely. 

Were, say, a teenager to have fallen asleep in the late 80’s and woken up in the present time, to the pings/sleekness of ‘actually’ mobile phones, the  fine HD, UHD, K televisions the world would have seem to such an individual, quite unfamiliar.

This 80’s Rip Van winkle would have blanched at the race for nascent and upcoming technologies whose appellatives defy common sense. But then, these technologies actually do defy common sense in the way they perform and operate.  Such technologies include augmented reality, artificial intelligence etcetera. At the risk of coming across as a Luddite, let us take a second to digest what these words mean, it means to amplify real life - how does one even do that, how? Those concerned with ersatz pursuits/situations, fixations about being abreast and actually enjoying latest technologies churned out by the West are in for a shocker in the upcoming years. It really is the information age, as such mobile phones, TVs; social media are avenues of peddling information no matter how suggestive and manipulative such communications are. Nevertheless, sometimes to willfully resist will be adjudicated as a sign of rebellion.  The onus is on each individual to be able to discern where to draw the line and resist the bandwagon effect; moderation as they say is the key to life.

Adaptability is of a higher value than intelligence, ability to adjust in a given situation/niche in itself is a representation/sign of intelligence.

Intelligence in this world we live in entails resisting the manufactured consensus, to exalt the unknown, to not be overly curious about the latest ‘things’– whatever that represents. I do not assume to be the wisest tree in a thicket of folly but it is meet to give birth to these words and thereby purge my system.


Thanks and cheers.
Article Written by : Sensi.

Friday, 1 December 2017

#BlogFeaturePost - My State Government's Fitting Preference




Hello everyone, here is Vivian Beulah Igbokwe again, a consistently passionate writer who has been featured on my blog several times. Her articles and views are her own experiences and opinions and they are very interesting and enlightening. 
 

If you would like your written articles featured in my #BlogFeaturePost columns, kindly send them in to bukiotuyemi@gmail.com.

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My state government (Imo State precisely) does not find it unfitting to erect monuments of African Presidents but find it fitting to knock down structures for road construction but never complete the roads, thereby causing the blockage of drainages and floodings around town.

My state government does not find it unfitting that our governor hosted two sitting Presidents and one ex-president for his birthday (we are yet to understand the economical impact of that action) but find it fitting to provide 300 old, refurbished taxis while almost banning Keke from the state. They have been relegated to remote areas and the effect is that the people get to pay more for distances we paid for less with Keke: (They (taxi drivers) have to pay up the one million Naira mortgage on the taxis.) Not excluding the hours of standing in the sun to get taxi and being squeezed into it. (The state of the taxis is a different topic; wait for it.)

My State government does not find it unfitting that there are no companies to profitably employ graduates or at least make the state business ecosystem attractive to investors to come and build the companies but rather find it fitting to keep rendering jobless those who had source of income. Like I've pointed out in an earlier article, Keke transportation is one of the highest employer of labor in my state. By banning Keke, thousands of Keke riders lost their means of livelihood. This is in addition to destroying shops in Douglas to make people pay for shops in an uncompleted market site that is prone to flooding and that is far removed from Owerri municipal.

Today, I heard a loud bang. I came out to see a lot of shops being broken down along PACs to Maris Junction axis. If you are conversant with this road, you will know that this road never experiences traffic; never! You will also know that those roadside shops never constitute any form of nuisance. You will know that those roadside shops are built well into the walls of the hosting compounds, such that they never cause traffic issues. If you live in Owerri, you will know that the cost of renting a shop is outrageous; so having those roadside shacks is the only way for many businesses to survive and make a little profit. If you live in Owerri, you will also know that those roadside shack owners who sell second hand wears, video and audio CDs and fruits are mostly graduates who could not land jobs.

At this rate, what are people actually expected to do in Nigeria? How does the average man on the streets actually survive? The cost of house rent, shop rent and living expenses are so high; employment is at zero level because those with jobs are underpaid and yet the government that is supposed to alleviate the people's suffering is the one propagating it.
If I ever hear anyone complain that Owerri guys are yahoo boys and Owerri girls are runs girls, I'll bite off your ears; especially if you are doing nothing to alleviate poverty levels in this state. Please, stay on your high horse and pocket your righteousness. Lol. Come on, at this rate, what are people expected to do? Stay at home and wait till hunger kills them since they cannot afford shop rents, land jobs, ride their Keke, hawk or sell by the roadsides?

Today, I was so overcome with emotions as I saw the owners of these shack shops hold their hands over their heads; their goods destroyed; their spaces destroyed. I felt helplessness, anger, rage and even tears on my face.  And I asked, how long? How long will people murmur, post on social media and then get used to this new form of oppression? I say it is time for Imo people to protest and to so protest that our government comes to order. If we are afraid of dying, people are already dying in this state out of hunger, frustration and joblessness. So, if we are afraid to die, our sisters and brothers are already dying. If we do not rise up and call to order those who claim to have bought our votes and reclaim the destiny of this state, then they will keep raping and ripping us apart.

Onye azu ya di na-ala anaghikwa atu ujo ada.

Igbokwe Vivian Ijeoma