EVERYBODY HURTS

Hmmmmmmn.

We are still raw from the pains and destructions we witnessed this week. It hurts so much, way more than I can put into words. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I typed the paragraph above over an hour ago and I am still unable to put the words in my head into typing writing. So, I have decided to share with you my therapy, which gets me through everything life throws at me. MUSIC. Music, sweet tea and fresh flowers always make everything better and I would strongly recommend either or all of these three whenever you're feeling blue.

A particular song comes to mind today because the words, melody and everything about it are so soothing. It's "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M. This song will most likely make you cry but you will feel better afterwards because you are not alone. We are all in this mess together and we will overcome together. 

The lyrics are below:

When your day is long
And the night
The night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough
Of this life
Well hang on
Don't let yourself go
'Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone (hold on)
(Hold on) if you feel like letting go (hold on)
If you think you've had too much
Of this life
Well, hang on

'Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand
Oh, no
Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone
No, no, no, you're not alone

If you're on your own
In this life
The days and nights are… 

HANG ON AND STAY STRONG. 💖🌹🌹🌹🌸🌸🌸🌻🌻🌻🌺🌺🌺💕

Kept Up By The Monsters They Created

This week has been one of the most trying weeks I've ever had to go through and trust me, I did not coin the user name @survivor17 without having really gone through some major stuff in life, but this week took the absolute biscuit. Between having three family medical near-crisis, the protests which eventually turned into an absolute nightmare and the president's awful speech last night, I think I was almost about done with everything.

Skipping the family medical near-crisis, while being EXTREMELY thankful for miracles as usual, I'll go straight to the protests and outcomes. 

I have not the words.

You see,  20-10-20 is the Black Tuesday we MUST NEVER forget in Nigeria and worldwide if we must be honest. What started as peaceful protests across the country in a bid to try to end or at least curb the insane police brutalities happening across the country especially in the Eastern and South western parts of the country, quickly spiralled into chaos and ended in sorrow, tears, pains, and blood.  💔💔💔😢😢 

All most of us wanted was for peace to reign and for young people to be able to live without the fear of being snatched randomly and tortured by the same SARS (Special Anti-Robbery Squad) that should otherwise have been keeping us all safe. Alas, some unscrupulous elements in the society chose to have war, unrest, blood and all the horrors of hell instead. A bunch of unknown yet heavily armed soldiers went to the toll gate in Lekki (Lagos State) and opened fire on UNARMED citizens who sat there singing the anthem and waving their flags. It felt like a full horror movie was playing out right before our very eyes. Thank God a brave young lady called DJ Switch was on scene to share the horror to over a 100,000 of us all via her instagram live. 

I have not the accurate words to describe the horror I saw and heard that night but I'll try. There were absolutely terrified but BRAVE people singing the National Anthem with trembling voices and just the national cloth-flags to protect them, people bleeding out from gunshots wounds while wailing in raw pains as the weeping but unharmed tried to prise bullets out of them with rusty pliers sterilised with sachets of cheap alcohol, people taking their very last breaths right before our eyes, some injured being carried to safer distances with the hopes that ambulances would arrive in time to save them, and so many more that I  I shudder to relive now. I watched it all LIVE on instagram. Lord!

It was the stuff nightmares were made off, that Black Tuesday.

How could any sane human being, let alone an elected government have ordered a hit on its own citizen, even moreso harmless ones? It beggared belief and still does. I simply cannot wrap my head around it all. I was shaken to my very core and absolutely broken by what I witnessed. They didn't even let ambulances through to help the injured for hours, still they kept shooting at intervals till morning. It was horrific.

By the next morning, naturally tempers were flying all over the place and people came out really angry and started targeting certain establishments they felt were owned by the person they assumed was behind the attack. I mean they didn't just start attacking his supposed businesses but they were practically lured and goaded into doing so by some cowardly instigators who fed off the chaos. It felt like a scene out of a zombie movie as people came out in droves to destroy and burn properties of anyone with perceived affiliation with the government. 

The larger end result of this were miscreants and hoodlums (read this piece which I wrote SIX years ago) who had clearly had enough of the economic divide and situation in the country over time also joining in the melee and as such gave way to murder, arson, jail breaks, looting, destruction, sexual abuse, robbery, and every other evil you can think of. A lot of this occurred regardless of the curfew imposed by the governor of the state. People went stark raving mad and acted like monsters who had had a taste of rare human blood and longed for more. 

I couldn't stop crying for two days, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I was numb. How could this happen to our beloved nation despite all we have tried to do over the years to keep things on track and make them better?  😰😰😭😭😭

I started to feel a bit better yesterday evening after I got two funny caricature videos. They cracked me up and I was glad I was able to laugh amidst the despair. This however only lasted for a short while until I saw a fresh video from that Black Tuesday night. It sent me spinning into near depression as I relived the horror afresh and broke out into a cold sweat while quelling panic attacks. 

You see the things about all I've written about is that it isn't even close to half of what I have been through this week at all but I will move on to the last bit which was the president's speech last night.

Per the speech, I absolutely do not have the heart nor words to fully describe the emotions that went through me before, during and after it. Oh wait, scratch that last bit, I know what I went through after it and it was a firm resolve not to wail in despair but to restrategize my outlook on life and a sweet sense of comical hysteria because if I had not chosen to find humour and laughter in my pains and anguish last night, I would have completely lost it.

So here I am, another night of being unable to sleep at all for fear of flashbacks from that Black Tuesday and absolutely frightening nightmares for when I do drift off. I keep wondering that if I feel as awful as I do now, how are those BRAVE ones who stood firm in the face of death feeling now? We all need counselling as a nation but that's another story for another day.

I want to say God bless Nigeria but even my tired is tired. 😓

I wish us all well and I pray the souls of the dead find the rest they require after they seek justice out. 🙏🙏🙏

Keep being #AllHeartsAlways in all you do and where you find yourself. 💖💖💖

 

Enough Already #EndSARS

The revolution revelations over the past few days has weakened me mentally and I honestly don't know where or how it would all end. I have been crying randomly for the last two days and the tears just won't stop. 

I came on here to write and pour out my mind but seeing that my last post can't be so much different from what I'd come to write about made me more sad. I am tired of the injustice meted out to Nigerians daily. I am sick of it. I have been saying something must give and it seems the time is upon us at last, albeit at a grave cost. 

There has been ongoing protests all over the country for the past few days as thousands of Nigerian youths take to the streets calling for an end to SARS. Those who were created and paid to protect us have turned into killing machines over time. SARS (Special Anti-Robbery Squad) is a unit of the Nigerian Police Force created to covertly trace, track and arrest armed robbers but alas, they have completed deviated from their calling and moved on to carrying out highly nefarious and gross acts of irresponsibility at the detriment of the Nigerian youths. There are endless reports of them raping, harassing, killing and maiming people. They carry out raids and extort innocent citizens in the name of keeping peace. They target seemingly rich and young Nigerians especially those that use high-end phones, who have tattoos and/or dreadlocks, etc regardless of what these young ones actually do for a living in real life. Too many people have been killed or are still languishing in prisons as we speak because they fell victims to the raids carried out by this killer squad. 

Well, the youths have had enough and have taken to social media in protests and also to the streets all over the world. The hashtags #EndSARS #EndPoliceBrutality #EndSARSNow and #EndSARSProtests have been trending for days. We are tired and have had enough. No one (OLD AND YOUNG) is safe from these guys and almost everyone has a story to tell about their cruel acts, ether firsthand or by third-party experiences.

Unfortunately, the government has not said anything the people want to hear so the standoff continues. 

Already, a young student named Jimoh ISIAQ,  was shot dead by the Nigeria Police Force this afternoon in Ogbomosho. He was a victim of circumstance because pictures taken just before he was killed showed he was not with the protestors but was a mere bystander. The Nigerian Police fired live bullets at peaceful and unarmed protestors. 

I don't even have the right words now and the tears won't stop so I will stop here for now. I would appeal to those of you with the President on speed dial to call him and let him know how grave the situation is. This is not the time to be an ostrich and bury our heads in the sand hoping this would "fizzle" out. He needs to address the country, allay our fears and anger and #EndSars.

#EnoughIsEnough