Season's Greetings To You All

Here's wishing you all a very merry Christmas and a prosperous new year in advance. I wish you all the goodness of the season and then some. 

Man To Man Is So Unjust

I wonder if Bob Marley had Nigerians in mind when he wrote the song "Who The Cap Fit" because indeed, man to man is so unjust. I watched a horrific video this morning and it has traumatised me so badly that I have cried and I have been unable to eat anything. 

On Thursday, 15th December 2016, suspected Okada riders and miscreants along Point Road in Apapa, lynched Mr. Tunji Bakare to death in the worst possible way. Mr Bakare, who was the Apapa Zonal Head, Lagos State Traffic Management Authority (LASTMA), was on duty controlling and regulating traffic when he was attacked by these angry savages.

The video showed Mr. Bakare, beaten and battered,  inside a filthy gutter and despite him being so weak and in agony, those savages kept pelting him with heavy stones and tires aimed at his head. Sources say after the video, Bakare was subjected to worse treatment as he was stabbed and had both eyes gouged out. How can humans treat their fellow human in such an ungodly animalistic manner? Even animals do not torture themselves to death, talk less of humans with feelings, emotions, sense and blood running through their veins. Man to man is so unjust and evil.

Some witnesses at the scene say that some trucks were parked illegally along the road and upon sighting Bakare, the truck drivers rushed into their trucks in a bid to speed off and escape penalties for flouting traffic laws. Apparently, one of the drivers did not know that there was young bus boy sleeping underneath his truck and so he ran over the sleeping lad, killing him instantly. This angered the Hausa okada riders, who felt that Bakare was to be blamed for the lad's death since the truck drivers were fleeing LASTMA and the long arm of the law. They set on him, beating him up, stoning him, stabbing him and removing his eyes. 

No one deserves to die in such a gruesome manner, least of all a government official on duty. This nefarious act went on for quite a while and I find it really disturbing that the police, who were initially at the scene but said to have fled as soon as the lynching began, were not able to mobilise  and reinforce themselves and return to the scene to rescue poor Mr. Bakare. I am very angry and upset that his death could have been totally avoided if only we take security and human lives seriously in this country. If a government official could be murdered in broad daylight and in cold blood like that, what hope is there for us mere mortals?

This post is an appeal to Governor Ambode to wade in and address the issue of security in Lagos State. It is our fundamental human right to be kept safe and to feel safe in a town where we live, work and pay our taxes. I had an accident some weeks ago and as bad and near fatal as the accident was, most of those who gathered to peep the wreckage were there to rob us. My iPhone was nicked at the scene as they swarmed around our wrecked vehicle, while trying to steal more stuff. The trauma I have been going through has more to do with the attempted robbery rather than the accident itself. No one called for help, all they wanted was a piece of our belongings. Does it mean if my colleague and I had not survived the accident, they would have left our bodies in the vehicle while stealing our stuff? 

This man's demise is similar to my experience and the only difference was that I got myself away from the scene as quickly as we could. Bakare was not so lucky, no one came to his rescue. Not even the ones who kept recording rather than placating the bloodthirsty murderers. Yes, that's whether they are. Anyone who participates in jungle justice is a MURDERER, plain and simple.

Bakara's family as distraught, as I type, but even though I know nothing is going to bring him back from the dead, I sincerely hope the family would get justice and compensation from the government whom their beloved served until his demise. If you as a Nigerian who has had unpleasant experience with LASTMA think for a second that his death was justifiable, then you are part of what is wrong with our country. We cannot continue to take laws into our hands because we feel the government would not follow through in getting justice for those who do wrong and run foul of the laws. Every life matters.  

Rest In Peace Tunji Bakare

#MusicIsEverything - It Will Rain

This song always gets me all mushy and gooey on the inside and I doubt if anyone could have sung it better than Bruno Mars himself. He's an incredible bundle of talent and his vocals are everything. This song is lyrically gripping.

I'm dedicating this to everyone currently working hard despite this ongoing heatwave and also to all the good hearts in love. :)

Enjoy.

Seven-Year-Old Suicide Bombers Let Loose

Yesterday morning, there were two explosions at the Monday Market in Maiduguri, Borno State and they were carried out by two seven-year-olds who had had bombs strapped around them. These suicide attacks killed three, including both bombers while it left about 17 people seriously injured and presently hospitalised. 

According to a member of the Maiduguri militia who witnessed the attack, he said he watched the girls get out of a keke and they showed no signs of any emotions. He tried to speak with one of them in Hausa and English but she totally ignored him. So he assumed they were looking for their mother. Shortly after, their bombs were detonated, killing them instantly and killing another person while injuring several. Even though Boko Haram terrorists have not yet claimed this bombing as part of their 'achievement', it is assumed they are behind the dastard and inhumane act.

What is the world turning into? How can anyone conceive the idea of using 7-year-olds as suicide bombers? What do they aim to achieve by such cruel and nefarious acts? When does it all end?

Tragedy As Church Collapses In Akwa-Ibom

A few days ago, a church in Akwa-Ibom state collapsed killed way over 100 people, with many more severely hurt and hospitalised. The Reigners Bible Church International was clearly still under construction when worshippers and visitors gathered last Saturday to ordain its founder Akan Weeks as a Bishop. Witnesses say that the workers had been rushing to finish the building in time for the ceremony.

Alas, it's all ended a horrific tragedy for all concerned as the metal girders crashed and the iron roof caved in on top of the people inside. Governor Udom Emmanuel was apparently inside the church when it collapsed and he barely escaped with his life. The Akwa-Ibom government have said they will investigate to see if building standards were compromised as it is not news that some building contractors in Nigeria often cut corners, thereby jeopardising the lives of others.

I recall writing this post in 2014 when a building of the Synagogue Church of All Nations building collapsed killing 116 people as well. I'm not sure anyone has been convicted for that fiasco yet even when it has been established that the building had structural faults.

Sigh. Staying alive in Nigeria is a full time job it appears.

A Living Legend Truly, KSA Is.

There's an event ongoing as I type this post and it's a 70th birthday party and also a celebration of 50 years on stage for Nigeria's legendary musician, King Sunny Ade (KSA). I like the fact that he is being celebrated this way because he has indeed paid his dues over the years and inspired/birthed many musicians over the years. 

During the celebration, his beloved historical guitar given to him by Fender and designed by @victorsozaboy was put up for auction and sold to the highest bidder for the hefty sum of N52.1 million naira only. What recession? LOL

While some people might find the bid obscene and outrageous, I actually think it is a good investment choice for the bidder because I'm pretty sure that guitar would be worth much more in a few years, given the history behind it. 

This guitar has produced many beautiful tunes and I hope the winner of the bid cherishes it and passes it down from generation to generation. Long live KSA.

Images Sourced from Google, Twitter. 

Nigeria Preps For First Winter Olympics Appearance

For the first time ever, Nigerians are hoping to enter the bobsled team at the South Korea Winter Olympics Games in 2018. Three beautiful and smart ladies, Seun Adigun, Ngozi Onwumere and Akuoma Omeoga, based in the United States of America are looking to break this record and they are in it for the win.

What might be a snag to achieving this dream is the lack of funding, as the trio hopes to raise funds for their gear, training, transportation, etc. They have thus set up a GoFundMe page and are hoping to raise $150,000 to cover their expenses ahead of the Olympics.

A bobsleigh

Seun Adigun said, 'Together, we can demonstrate that nothing is impossible with a little faith, support, and willingness to persevere", and she is so right. I really hope they can raise the funds they need and go  ahead to win and bring home the gold. Please let's support them as best as we can. #TeamNigeria

One For All And All For One

After watching this lovely and profound Amazon Prime's Christmas advert, all I can say is that truly, united we stand and divided we fall. 

If only we can all put our racial, tribal and religious differences and biases aside and see ourselves as humans first and foremost, indeed the world would be a better place.

#DearBuki: Did Hubby Lie About His Fertility?

Hello dear blog readers, how has your day been? I started a column tagged #DearBuki where you can send whatever issues weighing on your minds and I would do my best to proffer solutions to them by giving my opinion and showing other perspectives to them. I do a lot of these guidance and counselling offline so I felt the need to bring it on my blog. I know it's been a while since I shared some but I have been responding to them offline and not had time to post them on here. Do send me an email on bukiotuyemi@gmail.com to share your burdens and we will put heads together. Check out the other posts here.

As they say, a problem shared, is a problem half solved................ :)

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Dear Buki,

My husband has hurt me in the worst possible way and I don't know what to do about it. We got married 4 years ago and we were so much in love. I told him all about myself before I committed to the relationship from the onset. I told him I'd had  a child prior and he did not mind at all. He's shown my son so much love that it is hard to believe he is not the real father. He also told me he had been married briefly in the past but the marriage didn't produce any children.

Well, as soon as we got married, we started trying for a baby immediately. I have been subjected to all sorts of ridicule and mockery from his side of the family and from our society as a whole but I stayed strong and endured, assured that one day I would get pregnant again. I have gone through all sorts of tests so imagine my shock when I bumped into my husband's ex-wife and she spilled, out of pity, that my husband is infertile and can never have kids from his loins. She went ahead to let me know that all his family members are aware and they still 'persecuted' her for it while they were married. 

I was shocked to my bone marrow and I could not believe it so I got home and confronted him. He denied it and so I insisted we call a family meeting and also go for tests, both of which he has refused to get involved in. Buki, I am broken and angry at the deceit especially as I have been treated so unfairly. I don't trust him anymore and I am not sure if I can ever love him as I used to.

Please I need to hear/read your thoughts on my dilemma.

Thanks you.

Gullible Gloria

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Dear Gullible Gloria,

I am so sorry for your pain and anguish, as I felt the emotions from the tone of your email. I think you need to take deep breaths, step back and reassess the situation. It appears to me like you've already given your verdict and concluded based on hearsay. Yes, it's hearsay from his ex-wife until the test results prove otherwise or you get a proper confirmation from him or his family members, so you need to calm down and don't weigh yourself down with this just yet, if at all. You need a clear head and an open mind to deal with this situation.

Appeal to him softly but assertively about going for further fertility tests together and let him know how this is affecting your relationship, feelings and marriage. If he still insists then I think you should get someone from his side of the family, someone elderly and honest, to share this with and see if you can get clarity from them. 

Even though they say there's no smoke without a fire, I have seen a fair share of vindictive ex-es to know that you cannot place your entire marriage on a scale set up by an ex-spouse. Don't be gullible by believing and reacting based on hearsay. Dig deeper for the truth of the matter before you take decisions.

I wish you all the best Gloria.

Cheers.

Buki O.

When A Positive Turnaround Happens

Wow, I just read this heartwarming story about a Bangladeshi cleaner currently working in Saudi Arabia whose picture was taken as he longingly starred into a jewellery shop. The sillybilly who snapped Nazar al-Islam Abdul Karim, posted his picture online and mocked him, saying "this man deserves to only look at rubbish". 

Unfortunately for the geezer, a positive turnaround occurred which turned Nazar's story around. That picture went viral and Abdullah Al-Qahtani, a humanitarian, took up the cause and began a search for Nazar. He sent out a tweet and Twitter users assisted in narrowing Nazar's location and kept at the search until he was found. Ever since then, there has been outpouring of gifts for Nazar and the gifts keep rolling in. From being a cleaner earning just $187 (700 Saudi Riyal), AL-Qahtani has said that money is still being sent to Nazar in addition to receiving two mobile phones (iPhone 7 and Samsung Galaxy), bags of rice and honey, return tickets to Bangladesh, gold trinkets, amongst other things.

I like how Nazar's story has progressed and I know that things will definitely get better for him. This just goes to prove that if no one else does anything right, YOU should. It takes ONE person, who does the right thing, to bring about positive changes. 

Be #AllHeartsAlways

Little Drummer Boy (African Tribal Version)

I'm pretty sure I posted this video around this time (I'm really too lazy to check and confirm this right now, lol) last year but I felt the need to put it up again because it is an absolutely beautiful rendition and cover of the Little Drummer Boy by Alex Boye featuring the Genesis Choir.  

Also, I can smell Christmas in the air already and 'tis the season to be merry, yes? ;) Have you started your [reparations for the Christmas festivities? I haven't even put my tree up yet *groans in Spanish* but I will get around to it, lol.

Enjoy.

Much Ado About Personal Silence

So, it has been ages since I wrote due to my busy schedule in recent times. Don't get me wrong, I love my new job to bits, it has made me discover parts of myself which I never really got and I've also met amazingly fantastic people on the job. It is what it is though, that I have less times for myself in the meantime.

Also, a week ago, I had an accident which could have ended up fatally but for the ultimate grace of God. The episode scarred and traumatised me so much, even more so because we were almost robbed by hungry-mean-looking-poverty-driven-miscreants, and it has taken a lot of unburdening myself to get to this point of healing and thus writing about it.

At some point, I thought I was going to lose my mind but thankfully I am overcoming the seemingly relentless flashbacks that appear to be pulling me back into the abyss of darkness that shrouded me after the accident.

The entire incidence and events leading up to now makes me realise and affirm that a lot of people are battling depression and a host of other unidentified dark emotions due to the fact that our society does not encourage speaking out. The simple truth, cure and way out of these is often to unburden oneself ti listening ears and loving arms of the right people who have encouraging words to share.

When you bottle up certain feelings and dark incidences, they tend to keep you mentally locked up and unable to move forward with your life. Speaking up and out is a good way to get it out of one's system and overcome the challenges that comes with. so don't let anyone tell you that silence means healing, let it out and let it all go. You will be the better for it.

There was a lot of hullabaloo last week when celebrity and on-air-personality Toke Makinwa released  her autobiography and it got a lot of people talking and some even blaming her for "airing her dirty laundry in public". I haven't read the book but I have read excerpts and if she went through all of that, then methinks writing a book and letting it all out of her head is a good step towards healing and facing a better life ahead.

Our society is obsessed with keeping up appearance at the detriment of the victims involved and this is all shades of wrong. How can I overcome a trauma if I cannot speak about or share my ordeal as I want? You aren't in the minds or heads of people, so let them express themselves as they deem fit for them to get over the trauma. If you cannot ease the burdens of others, by all means, do not add to it. Leave them as they are.