Advertise On Buki's Blog

Advertise On Buki's Blog

Sunday, 15 October 2017

Shades Of Sexual Harassment.

Producer Harvey "Fleabag" Weinstein
You have to be living under a rock if you have not heard of the latest Hollywood scandal involving a famous mogul, Harvey Weinstein and the numerous famous women and men whom he subjected to sexual harassment and threats over many years. This weasel harassed so many upcoming and known actresses in the industry and even went as far as stalling/destroying the careers of those who did not succumb to his lecherous advances. 

In the past two weeks, there have been a new actress coming out almost everyday to share her own ordeal in the hands of this seemingly perpetual horny and nefarious man. His modus operandi was the same as he would lure actresses with a professional meeting to discuss an important script and then promise them a juicy part in the new movie before making a move on them. For most, he would ask that they let him grab their breasts and kiss him a little, while for others, he would just grab away or drag them to sit on his laps, atop his erect penis. Bear in mind that some of these ladies were pretty young when they had these encounters with him. This Harvey fellow is all shades of nasty and disgusting, a scum of the earth.

For those who rebuffed his advances, he would ensure they did not get any acting roles he knew about. He would threaten to destroy their careers, and destroy he did to some. I know that, because some of us are more strong-willed than others, there would be some actresses who fell for his trick and succumbed to his advances. I can only how ashamed they are feeling now, knowing that they fell for it while other fled from it. I can imagine their anguish and wishes that if only they had been more firm and assertive enough to rebuff his advances.

Well, his career and life is crumbling in fragments right about now as he has been voted out of his own company by the board, has his Lifetime Membership revoked by the Oscar Board, generally ostracised by almost the entire Hollywood community, checked into rehab, left by his wife and is no doubt legally going down for rape and harassment eventually. 

I have been a victim of sexual abuse several times in the past and even up till recently. Sexual harassment cuts across age and race, it's the same everywhere for most women. It seems to me that some men just feel they are wholly entitled to a woman's body by virtue of their positions or hold they have over women. The first time I faced street sexual harassment, I was only about 12 years old on my way home from the salon and these two men, in maybe their mid twenties, cat-called and heckled me until I ran all the way home, crying and distressed.

My first encounter with sexual harassment in the hands of a teacher was from when I was in secondary school. We had this silly lecherous Youth Corper teacher who made advances at me and I told him in plain and simple English that it was never going to happen because he was my teacher and meant to know better and also because I had zero interest in him, mores I was still a virgin at the time. Who could I have told that would have saved me from this monster at the time? No one! I was young, about 14 or 15 years old, and far away in boarding school. The one teacher I could have told that would have helped me was a no-go area because it was a known fact that she was seeing this same Corper-Teacher.

The fact that I turned him down made him angry and retentive to the point of punishing me in front of the class for a crime I did not commit. He flogged me hard in front of the class until my skin broke. I remained adamant and did not succumb. I threatened to expose him afterwards and he backed off my case.

Before I got into university, I had heard about teachers coercing students into having sex with them for marks and I had made up my mind never to succumb to such harassment. Little did I know the extent of what was about to come. I was in 100 level and in an examination hall writing a test when the first lecturer to harass me sexually made advances at me. Before you jump into insane conclusions, let me tell you what I had on that day because I have never been able to erase that memory from my mind. I had on a checked long-sleeve shirt buttoned up and I had a camisole beneath the shirt. I also had on a pair of denim capri-pants or shorts which were below my knee. So you see, I was properly covered up and was just minding my own business when i was set upon by this perverted man. 

All I did was look up when he came to stand beside my seat and he stared long and hard at me before whispering that he was mesmerised by my eyes. Alas, I couldn't hide my shock and disgust for him and he must have sensed it because he suddenly turned stone-faced. He got my name and matriculation number from my script and asked me to come see him in his office. I knew what he wanted and I avoided him for a while until I had no choice but to go to his office to hear him out because he kept sending people to fetch me until I went to his office. There and then, he made his intentions clearly known, with that underlying threat of informing me that my success as s student lay in his hands. He encouraged me to "weigh the merits and demerits of dating a lecturer as my grades could swing in my favour or against me". I was 18 years old at the time.

He was the first of very many more lecturers on my case through all the years I spent in undergrad school. There was at least a lecturer in every department within my Social Sciences Faculty, save for  the department of Demography & Statistics, asking and hounding me for sex. I felt I was the one with the problem, but it was not me at all. It was the grown up men, fathers even, who should have known better than to desire the students they were paid to teach and mentor. They were solely responsible for keeping their roving libidos in check, not I. I was frustrated beyond words all through but I remained adamant till I graduated.

This post has drained me emotionally so I will stop here and continue in subsequent posts about how I faced sexual harassment in EVERY school I've attended and how I NEVER gave in to a single one of those plonkers. It was hard, but if you are presently going through that at the moment, listen to me, if I could do without sleeping with my lecturers for marks despite the threats of failure they hung over my head, you can too. Stay strong.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments are feedback, so please bring them on. :) #Learning #Living