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Saturday, 13 December 2014

Why So Harsh!!!!!!??

This post isn't to bash men nor wave a feminism flag about in a howling wind. It is merely highlighting facts as they appear and occur around us. Ready?

It's getting more and more difficult to be a woman these days. The pressure from every quarter is huge, irrespective of your relationship status. The demands from the "weaker sex" seems bent on ensuring they remain weakened even though and as always, "still we rise".
I came across the picture below on twitter and it buttresses my point on the pressures we are faced with daily. 

The pressure on single ladies to get married on this side of the world is unimaginable and frankly ridiculous. It's like we have no choice or say in the matter whatsoever. We aren't even given the chance to entertain the thought of remaining single until one is good and ready, talk less of voicing it out, talk less of actualizing such choice. Yes, some people genuinely do not make marriage a do-or-die affair and they are often the better for it. You see, so many people go into marriages for the wrong reasons and they end up being very unhappy and depressed in it, whereas if they had been allowed (or allowed themselves) to bide their time and learn before being plunged into it, this wouldn't even be a topic for discussion on this blog.

You would think getting married would get the ridicules and not-so-subtle jabs off your case, but no, that is just the first stage of the torments and pressures. Next comes the overtly high expectation of getting pregnant regardless of  choice of the couple to delay parenthood for a short while, medical history of both spouses, or whatever else might stall parenthood. The murmurs start, the snide remarks, the mockeries, the outright damnation for daring not to repel barrenness and as such save the family from shame while continuing a lineage. Sigh. (I just can't with some people abeg).

Getting married, preggers and becoming a parent doesn't give you a free-pass-to-go at all, so don't breathe easy just yet because you are still a woman after all. Now comes the pressure of being a damn good role model mother, who has all bases covered with the children and home front, regardless of the fact that life happens.

Ladies, we must brace ourselves and expect these criticisms both from those who have no clue as to what we are dealing with and from those who, ideally, ought to know better. Just like the Boy's Scout motto, we've got to "Be Prepared" and learn to take charge of our lives and surroundings. 

We need to stop bowing to societal pressures. The more we bow, permit and conform to these outrageous demands, the worse for us. Truth is if you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything. Taking a stand doesn't mean undermining the authority of those who preside over you like your spouse, parents, in-laws, bosses, etcetera. It simply means finding and doing whatever makes you happy and at your own pace too, while assertively and politely getting these persons to see things your way. 

Below is a picture I also found on Twitter and it reveals a situation about a girl breaking up with her boyfriend over their different views and choices on political parties.The girl is clearly a PDP supporter while the boyfriend supports APC, thus her decision to declare this choice publicly didn't sit well with him. He's now lost his relationship because of his inability to handle this difference in opinions as he tried to emotionally blackmail her via threats to end the relationship into seeing things his way. Who does that? I've met people who said their parents and themselves support different political parties, football clubs, and so on AND still they all live in harmony borne out of mutual respect for each others' opinions and choices. If his child or brother supported a different party, would he disown them??

Why on earth is life so harsh on the female folks?

Good luck with trying to find an answer to that but in the interim, I would encourage every female out there going through tough times, largely because they are female, to be happy and strong and find happiness from within. When you base your happiness on others, you tend to get hurt and disappointed if your expectations are not fully met.

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