#BlogFeature - Our Culture And Depression

The article below is written by one of my BlogFeature writers Toyin Femi-Akinlade and she's written a beautiful piece stemmed from a true life and personal experience. I wrote about depression here a few weeks back and the feedback I got offline proves that it doesn't exist in our society but it is suppressed due to something which I believe is culture. Enjoy, learn and share.

Thanks.

I recently suffered borderline depression as I lost my dear father, buddy, mentor and pastor all rolled in one. There were days I wondered if I'd actually make it through because you see, this man I had the privilege of calling dad was all these things and more to me.

During times like this, people will naturally try to help you get over your loss and find ways to help you heal emotionally. But in all of it I found comfort (and I still find it) from talking to trusted, well meaning friends. Anyone who knows me knows I'm pretty much an open book and with me there really ain't any secrets as such which is why I'm such a happy child. I talk to people I connect with not because I can't keep my mouth shut but talking for me, particularly about issues eating up my insides, is very therapeutic and this brings me to the crux of this discourse.

In recent times I cannot help thinking that the reason why a lot of Nigerians are probably suffering from depression may be due to our cultural influence. I'll explain. I am Yoruba, a tribe from the South Western part of Nigeria for instance and my tribe has many proverbs cum sayings that discourage folks from overly confiding in people and learning to keep things to oneself. While some may argue that these sayings are only to keep one guarded and not necessarily out rightly discourage, it is sad to think that people are still somewhat influenced by them as they take in these sayings hook, line, sinker, fisherman and boots! 

For instance, Yorubas will say, 'Banuso ma ba eniyan so' which means, 'Don't go telling people about your stuff, keep them to yourself'. Or another one that says, 'Ko n se gbogbo aso la maa n sa soorun' which literally means 'Not all clothes are to be dried out in the sun', another way of saying do not put all your stuff (secrets) out in the open.

Also, I do not know if this is a Nigerian thing but generally in this clime,  people would rather die in silence than open up to tell you what bothers them even in the face of imminent danger. Everyone likes to paint a perfect picture of their lives fit for Instagram and other social media platforms. But truth is, everyone is dealing with something. We do ourselves more harm than good when we generally live guarded lives and to use the words of the popular Nigerian comedian,  Frank Donga, 'we will just be tighting the world to our chests'. 'A n wa ile aye maya' like my Yoruba folks will say which means overburdening our minds with issues. 

While I'm not canvassing for people to go yelling their problems from rooftops, I'm saying keeping them all to oneself does more harm than good.

Think of that young, beautiful banker whose life got cut short by her frustrated husband three years ago. From the information gotten from the papers, it was said that she had all the tell tale signs of someone that was suffering from domestic violence but every time her colleagues asked, she claimed one domestic accident or the other a lot of times, I can't help wishing she had confided in just one person the true state of things. Maybe she'll still be alive today. God rest her soul.

So are Nigerians depressed because of the influence of our culture by way of our sayings? 

Article by: Toyin Femi-Akinlade

Twitter: @y_toyin