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Saturday, 5 September 2015

#DearBuki: How Can I Cope With His Sex Drive?

Hello dear blog readers, how has your day been? I have started a column tagged #DearBuki where you can send whatever issues weighing on your minds and I would do my best to proffer solutions to them by giving my opinion and showing other perspectives to them. I do a lot of these guidance and counselling offline so I felt the need to bring it on my blog. Do send me an email on and we will put heads together. Check out the first post here and the second one here.

As they say, a problem shared, is a problem half solved. :)


Dear Buki, my name is Nina and I am from Delta state. I have a small problem and I wonder what your advice on it would be. I am 29 years old and engaged to a handsome and loving man. He treats me like a goddess and extends his love to my family members. Our wedding date has been fixed for next year but there's a problem. I am not sure I can meet his demand for sex. *covers face* Please don't judge me for indulging in what our society sees as immoral and a sin but I thought it was better to check things out before committing myself. It seems to have backfired because my fiance wants to have sex regularly and I am worried he might stray if we get married and I can no longer keep up. What do you think I should do about this.



Dear Nina, thank you for seeking advice on this platform. I am in no position to judge you and I really can't fault you for wanting to test the waters before taking a swim. That being said, you did not exactly indicate how regular his demands are. Nonetheless, the only way to resolve this is to sit him down and share your fears and concerns with him. If he is as lovely as you have described him, I don't think he would take offence but would rather allay your fears and find a positive way to sync his libido and yours. You must know this: communication is highly essential to make any relationship work. Talk to your spouse about your feelings and fears. He is in the best position to get them and make amends where needed.

That being said, bear in mind that even though they say one man's meat is another man's poison, the fact is there are several women out there who are looking for what you are running away from. And while this doesn't mean you should stay, keep silent and die of a sex overdose, it simply means you should appreciate it/him a bit more. :)

I hope I have been able to help you out a bit. Please, do not underestimate the power of frequent and open communication with your spouse. These days, assumptions are easily formed and nothings quells assumption that being upfront and carrying the other person along.

I wish you all the very best. Do let me know how it works out.

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