Getting Closure.

The picture above sums up what closure is to most people who were in a relationship that ended abruptly. It is the point you reach when you finally find the answer to the evasive situation that has left you confused and pondering on how and what went wrong in a certain relationship. The truth is so many people are still hanging on to what they used to share with their exes because they haven't gotten closure yet. For some, the imminence of the end of their relationship was obvious to all others but themselves, while some saw it coming but never understood why. Knowing or not knowing the "why" is what determines how soon some people move on and on whom they move on to. In the ignorance of why a relationship ended, some people may move on to someone else too quickly and end up hurting themselves more or hurting the rebound person in a most unforgiving way.

I'm the sort of person who often likes to cross her T's and dot her i's, so I am big on knowing why certain things are happening or have happened. It helps me build myself by learning from past mistakes and becoming a stronger and wiser person for it, thus I think closure is very important for everyone. This can be applied across the different phases of life as it bears down on us, for instance knowing why you didn't get that job, knowing why your parents divorced, knowing why you didn't get the visa, knowing why you failed an exam,  knowing why your best friend suddenly started ignoring your calls, knowing the real cause of death of a loved one, knowing why your husband's love for you has turned sour, knowing why your loving girlfriend broke up with you and remarried three weeks later, knowing why that colleague of yours is so envious, knowing why your neighbour is so jealous of your little achievements, knowing, knowing knowing...............  to find closure and begin afresh.

When the good was going......

Most people knew the fairytale-like love life of Khloe Kardashian and Lemar Odom and were genuinely rooting for these two. Reality show aside, theirs was a union many willed to work because they were amazing together. Alas, things turned sour, they split up and Khloe filed for divorce for whatever reason or differences they had between them. Lemar is yet to sign the divorce papers and ma people are secretly wishing they would get back to each other. Today is his birthday and the picture below is what Khloe put up on Instagram and it is such an intense yet concise message:

See what I was saying earlier about how not getting closure makes one do things erratically, often. That last part is just so raw but sadly it is how a person truly feels when they cannot get closure on an issue. They will keep wondering why and what they could have done better and they will mull over this until it either consumes them negatively or until they realize it was through no fault of theirs. 

If you are in a situation where you feel you need closure but cannot even contact or connect with the person who can get you closure, I would suggest you go away alone to somewhere quiet and reach within yourself. Be happy and content at how things turned out and stop tormenting yourself or denying yourself of happiness you should be enjoying otherwise, and you just might have closure.

Remember, it is always mind over matter.

This oldie could help too: http://bukiotuyemi.blogspot.com/2014/07/overcoming-heartbreak.html